Trust in spouse shattered now

Dear Annie: I’ve been happily married for more than 10 years and have a toddler. I always knew that my husband occasionally watched pornographic videos on the Internet, and it never really bothered me. Now I think maybe I was wrong.

I discovered that last year, my husband created a free personal profile on an online dating site that is designed to meet women in our vicinity. Of course, I was crushed. Before I approached my husband, I checked our computer history to see what sites had been visited, what kind of e-mails he has been getting, and any other surprises. Fortunately, I found nothing except the fact that he did not answer any of the responses to his profile.

I told my husband how hurt and disappointed I am. He claims that because the dating sites are free (unlike the porn sites), it’s a convenient way to receive online sexy pictures of women. So for him, it’s just free porn.

Am I insane to believe his reasoning? He hasn’t lied to me (as far as I know) since we’ve been married. He apologized for his actions, deleted his profile and has been on his best behavior. He offered to go to marriage counseling and anything else to save our marriage. I haven’t pushed the counseling thing because everything else in our marriage seems to be back to normal.

I haven’t spoken about this to anyone. Am I doing the right thing? – Depressed and Disappointed

Dear Depressed: We actually believe your husband used the profile only to get free porn, but it eventually could have gotten out of hand, especially since the women were local, so it’s good he stopped. We think you should take him up on his offer to get marriage counseling. It can help both of you understand and deal with this issue more completely and, we hope, regain your trust.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Lonely Teen Lacking a Dog.” You should also have suggested he talk to his parents about fostering a dog. That way he can have a dog and prove to the parents that he is a responsible owner.

There are many rescue organizations that are looking for foster families. I would not have my dog if it weren’t for one such foster family that took care of my companion until we found each other. – Proud Owner of a Fostered Animal

Dear Proud Owner: Thank you so much for mentioning this wonderful program. Anyone interested in fostering an animal should contact their local humane society.