Woman envies brother’s wife

Dear Annie: I am 66 and have been married to a wonderful man for a little over a year. I was a widow for 10 years, and “Bill” was divorced a long time ago. We have a great relationship with one exception: I am jealous of his widowed sister.

Before Bill and I met, he and “Jane” spent a lot of time together on golf outings and other trips. I don’t have a problem with Bill being close to his sister, except for the ways in which it affects our relationship. I think Jane knows more about our personal plans than she needs to.

For example, Bill was very reluctant – almost afraid – to tell her about our engagement. He discussed proposal plans with her and showed her the ring. She made sharp comments about the wedding location we chose and was nosy about the details. Bill kept leaving me at a pre-wedding party and even at the wedding to check on her. The morning after our wedding, he commented that he ought to call Jane.

Last Christmas, Jane insisted on having a jacket just like one Bill gave me. She interfered with our plans to attend a family gathering to the extent that we ended up not going. He told her about his surprise for our anniversary, and she “innocently” let the information slip in a conversation with me and didn’t apologize. Bill had to change his plans.

Am I too sensitive, or is Bill too attached to Jane? – Senior Bride with Young Emotions

Dear Senior Bride: Jane sounds a bit jealous of you – she interferes with your plans and doesn’t like Bill to be romantic. Discussing proposals and wedding details is not unusual – it’s what his mother might have done, and we suspect this is how Bill relates to Jane. A lot of this is minor (the jacket) and will resolve itself over time, but set boundaries when it comes to giving Jane advance notice of your plans.

Dear Annie: In the past year, I have attended several bridal showers. I try to select a gift from the couple’s registry and always bring something nice.

After one of these showers, the bride and groom neglected to invite my husband and me to the reception. My husband and I are both friends of the engaged couple. I assumed if one was invited to a bridal shower, it meant one should get an invitation to the wedding reception. – Used for a Gift

Dear Used: Unless the reception is family only, being on the invitation list for a shower means you should be on the list for the wedding, too, reception and all. Brides should not turn friends into personal banks by giving them the “honor” of buying presents without the accompanying privilege of sharing in the occasion.