Taste in dates often offends
Ms. Carolyn: I am a healthy, reasonably attractive and fit, 50-year-old, single gentleman.I rarely date, but when I do, I seem to meet and date younger, attractive women. I have had no success with women near my age, and I have found many to be irritable and malcontents.
This greatly angers and offends my friends’ wives, female co-workers, and my sisters and mother. I find I am the recipient of a lot of unsolicited advice and mean-spirited barbs. I expect this middle-age female angst and jealousy, and I let it roll off me, as do most of the young ladies. What is the best way for a gentleman to handle this behavior? – Older Gentleman Dating Attractive Younger Women
When you find the occasional middle-age woman to be a malcontent, it’s probably about her attitude.
When you find the occasional attractive younger woman to be a good match, then it’s probably about her suitability.
When the occasional woman gets offended because your date is young and attractive, then it’s probably about her issues.
You’re entitled to indulge your taste in women, to offend those who disapprove, and to avoid those you offend.
You’re also free to say you date “rarely” – then to cite failure with women your age, then to make reference to “most of the young ladies,” which together suggest you date plenty, which arguably undercuts claims to success. It is, after all, your yarn to spin.
However, if you’re going to spin that yarn to support a conclusion that women are either hotties or hags, then please know those hags are entitled to the opinion that this isn’t about them – it’s about you.
Ideally, they would decline to feed your bias, and keep their opinions to themselves. Unless, of course, you ask for it.
Dear Carolyn: What do you do when an invitation says “no gifts please,” but at least one person will show up with gifts anyway? Do you abide by the host’s wishes, or get a smallish gift so you don’t look like a doof, but risk annoying the host? – To Gift or Not to Gift
Be the doof who figured the host must have meant it, or wouldn’t have written it.
If you have reason to believe someone is keeping score despite the no-gifts directive, then that just gives you even more reason not to play games, and just take the directive at face value.
While it is best to respect the host’s wishes, no host should be “annoyed” at a well-intentioned gift.