Annie’s Mailbox: Gently encourage her to report rape

Dear Annie: I am 16 years old, and my friend “Kelly” is 17. Last week, Kelly went to a party where there was alcohol. She got a little drunk and then drove her brother home, along with one of his friends who stayed over. She was asleep when her brother’s friend came into her bedroom and forced himself on her. She couldn’t fight him off because the alcohol made her feel disoriented. Afterward she realized she was raped.

Kelly doesn’t want to report it because there was underage drinking involved and this boy is her brother’s best friend. She isn’t pregnant, so I doubt she’ll seek medical help. She feels too ashamed to tell her parents and her brother, and I’m livid that this boy is going to get away with it. How can I persuade her to talk to someone? – Nightmare in Maine

Dear Maine: Kelly should report this, but please don’t push her too hard. It will only add stress to what is obviously a difficult situation. Instead, urge her to contact the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network hotline (rainn.org) at (800) 656-HOPE (800-656-4673). The call is anonymous and confidential, and someone there will help her sort through her options, including counseling.

Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Hopeless in Parenting,” whose daughter wants to attend an unsupervised overnight prom party. Many parents think that with eight couples present, the kids will be too modest for sex and will watch out for each other.

After 35 years of teaching high school, I can tell you, the more kids, the more prone they are to have sex. This includes the honors and AP kids, the band kids, even the kids who seem to be in committed relationships. I cannot tell you the number of students whose college plans have been changed or destroyed because of an unplanned pregnancy or health issues involving STDs. – Still Teaching

Dear Still: Thanks for one more warning to add to the list.