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Annie’s Mailbox: Husband, father shirking his duties

Thu., Sept. 2, 2010

Dear Annie: I’ve been married for 18 years and have two wonderful children. I love my husband, but there are some behaviors I simply don’t understand.

“Andy” works long hours, while I am home alone with our two children. He rarely calls to check in, and I never know when he will be home. There have been a few occasions when I discovered the next morning that he stayed at a friend’s hunting camp all night. He doesn’t feel it’s a big deal if he doesn’t call.

The other problem is when he returns home and I can tell that he has been drinking – which means he was driving under the influence. I do not understand how he can put so many people at risk.

When Andy doesn’t call, I consider it disrespectful. I have tried talking to him, screaming, nagging and the silent treatment, but nothing makes a dent. He is a good provider and loves us, but I feel alone in this marriage. I am certainly losing respect for him. So, Annie, do I – Stay or Go?

Dear S or G: Andy is avoiding his responsibilities as a husband and father. A caring, mature, responsible spouse would call to let you know if he’s coming home late, and certainly if he planned to be away overnight. Tell Andy his behavior is not acceptable and either he cleans up his act or you’ll be seeing a marriage counselor and a lawyer.

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