Spokane7
68°
October 30, 2011 in Opinion
Smart Bombs: Shake that groove thing
Prediction: The next “freedom” issue will be tire studs. November rolls up on Tuesday, meaning it’s the first day motorists can drive around on the little road rippers. In Idaho, those liberty-loving showoffs could don the metallic comforters on Oct. 1.
And you thought rutting season was confined to elk.
In my 14 years here, I’ve never used studded tires or slid off into a ditch. Tire stores have plenty of traction tires that work as well, or better. It’s only in relatively rare glare ice conditions (right around the freezing point) that studded tires perform best, according to a Washington State Department of Transportation study. In other conditions, like wet pavement, studded tires extend the stopping time of vehicles, meaning they’re more dangerous.
But, of course, we’re going to hear latter-day Patrick Henrys hold forth on how they’ll never surrender the freedom to choose. Never mind that the state just spent $15.5 million repairing that grooved stretch of Interstate 90 from downtown Spokane to Sunset Hill. Did you enjoy that traffic jam? Did you realize that you contributed to it if you’re a believer in the false promise of studded tires?
Too bad we couldn’t spend that money on the north-south freeway, rather than reacting to the hastened demise of any existing one.
An Oregon citizen who can’t stand the waste and is fed up with legislative cowardice is circulating petitions for a ban on studded tires in that state. Sure hope it passes. Might trigger a similar effort here.
Or, lawmakers could head off a ban by charging a fee to compensate for the damage metal mavens cause in exercising their freedom to waste tax dollars.
Clean at last! In last Tuesday’s column, Doug Clark shined a light on the spotted dishes caused by the freedom-zapping phosphate ban in Spokane County. The state imposed the same ban for laundry detergent 18 years ago, but apparently the one for dishwashers is a much bigger deal. Not because a different principle is involved; it’s just that phosphate is seen as more critical in cleaning dishes than clothes.
In any event, it was illuminating to learn about the Cascading effects of this prohibition on Spokanites’ quality of life as dishwashers and Americans. The only thing missing from this protest is a catchy slogan – “Phos 4 Us!” – and some inspirational music, like the kind that lifted spirits in the darkest hours of the civil rights movement. I can hear Mavis Staples now:
“This little plate of mine. I’m gonna let it shine!”
Anyway, after extensive research, I discovered a connection between pots and pans and the daughters and sons of liberty. Revere Ware is named for Paul Revere, who was a silversmith and hardware entrepreneur when he wasn’t issuing full-throated warnings about redcoats. But, irony of ironies, you’re not supposed to put your Revere Ware in the dishwasher. So how to clean it?
The secret to that should also help those who are struggling without their fish-killing chemical additive, especially that one patriot who runs her syrup-laden plates through the dishwasher multiple times (obviously a woman undeterred by the new water rates). If you consider this a “phate” worse than death, then listen, my children, and you shall hear:
Take a sponge, wet it and wipe off the sticky ingredients. Then place the item in the dishwasher.
At this point, you might want to collapse onto the couch, because it can be exhausting. Just be glad it isn’t Revere Ware, because you have to scrub the pots and pans until they’re entirely clean, then rinse and dry.
Makes me dizzy just thinking about it.
On the other hand, it has strengthened my respect for our ancestors, who way back in the 20th century washed and dried every knife, fork, spoon, ladle, glass, cup, dish, bowl and pot and pan by hand. This was before they were emancipated by Ken More, or whoever it was that invented the automatic dishwasher.
The lesson here is that put-upon Americans can overcome oppression if they persevere and listen to the right music:
“Hold on! Hold on! Keep your eyes on the prize and hold on!”
Smart Bombs is written by Associate Editor Gary Crooks. He can be reached at garyc@spokesman.com or at (509) 459-5026.
Smart Bombs: Greatest generation? Not us 
mikeln on October 30 at 8:54 a.m.
A letter to the editor a few years back from a woman who moved here from southern california stated that she observed the same ruts in the road down there. Funny how a place that never sees studded tires gets the same type of road wear. Could it be the people that make our roads are making them so they wear out and they can come back in a few years and make more profit? I’m not talking about the workers, but the investers that do not want a road that lasts 20 years. In england they make roads that last that long with better, cheaper materials, go figure. But as usual, vilify and then destroy, the way of our corporate run government to ensure future profit. By the way, studs work good where I live and there is no studless snow tire that will work as good, period.
MrBloggy on October 30 at 10:43 a.m.
Brand New Studded Tires
My baby drove up on brand new stud tire tracks
Yes she did!
Uh, my baby drove up on brand new stud tire tracks
Well, she looked at me “Daddy I ain’t never sliding back”
I said baby baby baby
won’t you listen to me
Come on sugar, hear my plea
Get some walnut treads
Save the sweet road way
Come on back to me!
Well, my baby took off on brand new stud tire tracks
Yes she did!
Uh, my baby took off on brand new stud tire tracks
Well, she looked at me “Daddy I ain’t never slippin back”
misjustice on October 30 at 11:40 a.m.
Keep your gubmint hands offa my studded tires!
; )
selkirk on October 30 at 7:17 p.m.
Interesting how the “fast lane” doesn’t have grooves. Maybe those who have studs drive slower and stay in the right lanes???
It’s also interesting that the middle lane of I-90 was MUCH MORE heavily grooved than the far right lane and for some reason, the grooves are wider than both my little car AND my big truck, putting everyone at risk for being pulled over for DUI cuz they make your car swerve from one side to the next unless you are very proactive on the steering wheel.
What kind of vehicle do the grooves fit? What kind of vehicle is consistently traveling down the center lane of I-90?
Studs DO NOT cause the grooves. They may or may not contribute to the deepening of the grooves, but it is SUBSTANDARD MATERIALS that the LOWEST BIDDER uses to save a buck that causes the grooves. Put heavy loads, aka SEMI TRUCKS, over these CHEAP roads, and there you go, instant grooves!
I was just in central California and they have grooves on their highways, but no studs on tires.
garyc on October 31 at 8:07 a.m.
Damage noted here.
http://training.ce.washington.edu/wsdot/Modules/09_pavement_evaluation/studded_tires.htm
But since you folks won’t acknowledge the effects, maybe we should let people use them year-round!
Gary D Rhodes on October 31 at 8:42 a.m.
You don’t have the freedom to deprive me of my right to enjoy the river with your pollution.
On HBO last week many liberals disagreed with that, and vowed to keep using phosphates because they enjoy clean dishes. Trying to label this a freedom issue is rater disingenuous.
If it is provable that studs do damage, then each studded tire should reflect that extra damage with a road damage fee.
kma on November 01 at 11:42 a.m.
Oh, Gary Rhodes, just liberals are using the phosphate? God, you flipping repubks, you are so what is wrong with this country. If you don’t like it, a liberal caused it. ROFLMAOAU GARY!!!!
And yes, repuks do pollute more by just breathing. LOL!