Teen feels parents judge him unfairly

Dear Annie: I’m a 16-year-old boy with two problems. My biological parents divorced when I was 2, and my mother remarried when I was 12. I live with my mother and stepfather and see my dad on the weekends.

The first problem is, since Mom married my stepfather, she seems unattached to me and more attached to him. She blames me for most things and nearly always takes my stepdad’s side when we have a disagreement.

For example, on one of my report cards, I had two 97s and two 94s. Those are pretty solid grades, but Mom yelled at me for not doing better. She also gets mad when she thinks I’m giving her “attitude,” even when I’m not. I’ve tried calmly talking to her, thinking she would listen as she used to. And she does for a short while, but then goes back to her old ways.

During the day, I do whatever housework seems necessary, without being asked. But I never get so much as a simple thank you at the end of the day.

The other problem is my bio dad. He’s been unemployed for a while and fell behind on child support, but I know he’s doing the best he can. I don’t like that my mother and stepfather complain about him in front of me. I love my dad. I also love my mother and stepfather, but I don’t know how to talk to them anymore because I know they will judge me. Do you have any advice? – Losing My Family

Dear Losing: Some of your issues are teen related and will get better as you get older. However, your mother should not be denigrating your father in front of you, nor should you be stuck in the middle of the fights between any of your parents. Your mother sounds as if she has her hands full, and it’s good that you contribute to the household without expecting much. Continue to have calm talks with her, even if it only helps for a little while. Also, please speak to your school counselor. It can be beneficial to have a sympathetic ear on an ongoing basis.