December 1, 2012 in Features

Separate checks not poor manners

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: We have two groups of friends with whom we dine about every other month in restaurants. There is always someone who suggests separate checks. I find this to be poor manners, since all of these people have been to our home for lunch, dinner or holidays at some point during the year. I also believe it is a burden on the server. And I almost forgot to mention that the host of these restaurant dinners brings the wine. What is your opinion? – RLS

Dear RLS: We aren’t sure what you object to. Are these restaurant dinners supposed to be a way of reciprocating for your home meals? If so, they are not doing the job. But in general, it is neither poor manners nor a burden to ask for separate checks, provided you do so when you order.

Dear Annie: I understand “Concerned Grandpa’s” pain. He noticed things on his granddaughter’s Facebook page that disturbed him, and his subsequent comments created a rift.

I’m 50 and have two kids in college. All four of their grandparents are in their mid-70s and on Facebook. We have found that sometimes it is best for our kids to block not only Grandma and Grandpa, but also us, from their posts. This is easy to do and saves a lot of minor grief for everyone.

No one wants to see their child or grandchild at a party playing beer pong, doing shots, dirty dancing or taking off clothing. Honestly, they are not doing anything much different from what their mother and I did when we were in college 30 years ago. But thankfully, that was before the digital age and social media, and we weren’t broadcasting our behavior to the entire world. – Scott in Northern California

Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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