Wondering if wife to return to family

Dear Annie: Four months ago, my wife of 22 years left me. She moved in with her parents, filed for divorce and said she is going to find happiness. She had an affair, and we tried to work through it, but she wanted me to heal according to her timetable, not mine.

I have custody of our children, and she rarely sees them. When she does, it is all fun and games and no responsibility. We both work professional jobs. I have been through all the hurts and emotions and everything that goes with a divorce. I keep hoping she will come to her senses and return home.

Since she doesn’t pay any bills or child support, she left us in a difficult financial bind. I recently met someone who is a sweetheart. But I still have a few feelings for my soon-to-be ex. Do I move on or wait? – Advice Needed in the Midwest

Dear Advice: See a lawyer and make sure your wife pays child support and has regular visitation with her children. They will need to see her, and you are entitled to the financial assistance. And while it’s possible that your wife’s desire to be irresponsible and immature will diminish in time, we see no reason for you to wait around unless she is willing to get into counseling and work on her marriage.

Dear Annie: I can relate to “There’s a Lady in the House.” I’ve been married for four months. I, too, found out after the wedding that my husband cursed. I tried everything from kisses for good words to lovingly pointing out that I did not appreciate his bad language.

One day I lost it. After hearing the umpteenth curse word come out of his mouth, I simply responded in kind. The look on my husband’s face was incredulous. I said I was tired of butting heads over his language and if I can’t beat him I might as well join him. Was it drastic enough? You betcha! It actually worked.

That day, my husband’s language not only changed, but he now also appreciates me so much more. – Still a Lady in Texas