January 15, 2013 in Features

He thinks wife who traveled cheated

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: I used to travel a fair amount for my job. These trips included lunches and dinners with my co-workers, sometimes in groups, sometimes not. At no time did I ever have the faintest interest in having an affair. But my husband thinks otherwise.

During the entire time I traveled, he constantly accused me of sleeping with “somebody.” I never once gave him a reason to think I was cheating. I recognized that this was just his way of dealing with his own insecurities and poor self-image.

I have not worked for a number of years, but on occasion, he stills insinuates that I had affairs. Instead of being supportive of my hard work then and now, he thinks it’s more important to keep suggesting that I’m always looking for someone else to sleep with. How do I get him to stop? – Not a Cheater

Dear Not: Your husband sounds overly suspicious. We don’t mean to add to the problem, but sometimes those who are having affairs accuse the spouse of the same offense. Tell your husband that his continuing accusations undermine your trust and make you wonder what is really going on. Counseling could help get to the bottom of it. If he is unwilling, you can choose to turn a deaf ear or get counseling on your own. However, if his accusations become more strident or more frequent, this could indicate mental health or medical issues, and he should see his doctor.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.

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