Spin Control: Eight rules for political candidates

OLYMPIA – It’s the weekend between Bloomsday and the Lilac Parade, and that can only mean one thing. Well, two things if you count the fact that half the people in Spokane have allergies acting up.

This week is filing week for candidates in Washington. Some people have been running for election or re-election for months, but that’s just prologue to the real campaign season, which starts Monday morning with the opening of the office doors in county elections offices around the state. Fill out your form, pay your money and take your chances for offices like mayor and city council member, and in southeast Washington’s 9th Legislative District, state House of Representatives.

School boards, as well as fire, water, sewer and cemetery districts, also have elections, but most of those seats can be sought for no fee because they have no salaries.

Although presidential election years generate more excitement and congressional races generate far more money, elections in a year like this are the starting points for many political careers. So we like to welcome first-timers to the ring into which they are throwing their hats and offer our standard rules for candidates.

Rule 1: No whining. Voters may admire winners and sympathize with losers, but they generally brook no whining, especially on things that come with the territory, like reporting your income and telling the truth about your education, military service and work history.

Rule 2: Keep good track of the money people give you. If you can’t add or subtract, hire somebody who can. Come to think of it, if you can’t add or subtract, you should be running for Congress, and that election is next year. If you don’t pay attention to your campaign finances, it’s a sure bet your opponent will call the Public Disclosure Commission (and us) to rat you out. When that happens, see Rule 1.

Rule 3: Have something to say. “Children are our future” is a bumper sticker, not a platform. People have a right to know what you plan to do about taxes, crime, the budget or any of a dozen other things you will face in office. If you try to fake your way through a question with an answer like “I’m studying that very closely and expect to have a white paper soon,” people might tune you out for the rest of the campaign. If so, see Rule 1.

Rule 4: Know what the job entails. City council candidates can’t do anything about ISIS any more than congressional candidates can fix potholes in the street. If you’re passionate about an issue controlled by another office, run for that office. Otherwise, concentrate on the job at hand.

Rule 5: Don’t say “I’m not a politician. I’m just a concerned citizen trying to do good things for the good people of this great community.” As a candidate, you are by definition a politician. Stop acting like the term is synonymous with cockroach or serial killer.

Rule 6: NFUOASND. This is a journalism creation, the G-rated form of which is “Never Foul Up On A Slow News Day.” Simply put, if you make a mistake the same day Mount St. Helens erupts or City Hall burns down, your boo-boo is a paragraph at the bottom of page 10, if it shows up at all. But mess up on a day when my editors have nothing interesting or salacious for the front page, and you’re it. Of course you never know when it will be a slow news day, so to be safe, don’t mess up. But you will, so …

Rule 7: When you mess up, ’fess up. We all make mistakes; smart politicians admit theirs, apologize without suggesting someone else is misconstruing their intent, and take their lumps. Stupid ones prolong the story by insisting everyone else is misinterpreting their remarks, which sounds like violating Rule 1.

Rule 8: It’s called public office for a reason. You’re applying for a job and the public is hiring. They also have a right to check up on you once you’re hired. If you don’t want to talk about how much money you make and how you make it, don’t want to be stopped on the street or asked questions while standing in line at Safeway or Starbucks, don’t want your Facebook page combed through by an opponent, or in general just don’t like people, that’s your right. But don’t run for office. If you do, and you run into problems – which you will – see Rule 1.

Good luck. By filing for office, all of you deserve it. And many of you will need it.

Say what? (He’s showing his age)

“We are definitely in favor of work, not like Maynard G. Krebs,” said Gov. Jay Inslee, on signing legislation expected to increase the number of small public works projects in big cities.

For those who aren’t first-decade baby boomers, that’s a reference to a character on the “Dobie Gillis” TV show. Most younger folks would recognize the actor playing him as Gilligan.