Lack of thanks hurts new mother

Dear Annie: My son, “Jack,” was married six weeks ago. He and his bride have known each other since high school, so I thought I knew her well.

Her parents paid for the majority of the wedding, and during the planning, I made myself available for any task that came my way. My three best friends gave the bride a shower at my home. My brother volunteered to become certified to perform the ceremony and they accepted. It was a destination wedding, so we had to set aside a few days for the event. My husband and I went there two days early to help assist without butting in too much.

Everything was going well until the day after the wedding, when the bride stopped all communication with me. Before then, she would call and text, and often ask to get together. Now, nothing.

I have never been a clingy mother, and I am baffled by this. Am I wrong to think she should have called after the wedding to thank us for everything we did? I don’t expect a reward for our help, but what happened to common courtesy? I’ve seen my son a couple of times since the wedding, though there has been no mention of the estrangement.

What did I do to turn her against me like that? – Hurt Mother-in-Law

Dear Hurt: First of all, the bride and groom should have thanked you for your help, but not all couples think this is necessary. Many assume helping is the parents’ responsibility and requires no expression of appreciation. They are wrong, but we hope you will let that go. The more serious problem is the bride’s lack of communication. Have you been texting her? Did you tell her what a beautiful wedding it was and you are so happy she is your daughter-in-law? You should be doing these things instead of waiting for her. If she still refuses to communicate, ask your son what’s going on.