Like many body-conscious Americans, I’ve been worrying all week about how much to put out next time I’m at the airport. Do I go through the new Mr. Peeper’s Magic X-Ray Scanner so that Transportation Security Administration snoops can laugh at my flabby naked acreage? Or do I let some random TSA worker feel me up like a prom date in the back seat of a Buick LeSabre? Decisions. Decisions. Look, I don’t want anyone to get the idea that Doug Clark is easy. No sir! Even so, I will probably opt for the fondling. All I’m asking is for my TSA groper to be gentle. Light a scented candle, maybe. Put on some soft music … Definitely put on a fresh pair of gloves!/Doug Clark, SR. More here.

Question: Which choice do you plan to make next time you're at an airport security station -- show-all scanner or fondling from TSA worker?