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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Cheap Seats

Fuhrman, on two

Many remember O.J. Simpson’s days of football greatness, including the supervising Superior Court judge who had a brief encounter with the murder defendant last week. Simpson came to the courtroom of Judge James Bascue for assignment of a judge to hear a controversial issue in his trial.

As Simpson’s lawyers put their heads together to confer on their next move, Bascue looked toward Simpson, seated alone at the counsel table. “Mr. Simpson, it looks like a huddle,” Bascue said.

“Yeah, but I don’t know the play,” Simpson replied.

“It may be an audible,” Bascue responded.

Preferrably into a 2-minute DEFENSE.

Remembering the Mick

Mickey Mantle’s recent passing revived old memories, especially among the Mick’s former Yankees teammates. Phil Linz flashed back to 1964.

“On the team bus,” Linz recalled. “We were 2-1/2 half games out when we got to Chicago, and then lost four straight. It was pretty somber. I pulled out my harmonica and started playing ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb,’ and Yogi (Berra) yells, ‘Hey Linz, shove that right up your (rear)!’

“I didn’t hear him, so I asked Mickey what Yogi had said, and Mick said, ‘He said play it louder.’ So I did. Yogi went berserk and came charging to the back of the bus enraged. Mickey couldn’t stop laughing.”

When in New York, boo as the New Yorkers boo

“For better or worse,” writes Michael Ventre in the Los Angeles Daily News, “fans’ habits are easily identifiable.

“In New York, fans won’t boo a player unless they’re reasonably certain it will crush him emotionally. In San Francisco, they rarely express their displeasure verbally toward ballplayers, since that would require actually going to the park. … In Pittsburgh, the only time they react is when two players collide while chasing the same fly ball, since it reminds fans of football season.”

Those exhaust fumes must be intoxicating

Gainesville, Fla., was recently named the No. 1 city in the United States in which to live. Norm Forscher, retired motor sports editor of the Gainesville Sun, says it’s because “within easy driving distance, we have four dirt oval tracks, six asphalt ovals and three drag racing strips.”

The last word …

“It should be noted that no team has ever lost to Atlanta 37-0 in an exhibition and gone on to the Super Bowl.”

- AP writer Steven Wine, assigning mock significance to a recent preseason loss by the Miami Dolphins

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo