Relax, Enjoy The ‘Animals’
Radio great Fred Allen once called television “chewing gum for the eyes.” Pretty smart, considering he never saw shows such as “Totally Animals II” (CBS at 8).
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against chewing gum or lightweight television entertainment. If you ask me, “Totally Animals” has a lot more going for it than, say, “Walker, Texas Ranger.”
John Ritter hosts the hour, which is comprised of dozens of short clips of animals doing cute, clever and funny things. The animals are pretty entertaining, but most of the clips are accompanied by silly human dialogue that may make you laugh in spite of yourself. Ritter’s frequent puns are too silly to laugh at.
The show is from the same folks who bring you “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” Need I say more?
A lot of people turn up their noses at this stuff. But kids love it, and adults watch it, too. Who says television shouldn’t be used as a place where you can put your brain on hold and just relax?
Highlights
“High Incident,” ABC at 8: Willitz (Cole Hauser) must negotiate a tense standoff when a distraught man (Cotter Smith) shoots and kills his wife and then barricades himself in his home, holding his small child hostage.
“Friends,” NBC at 9: Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow) realizes that her mother protected her from sad endings to kids’ movies. Also, Rachel (Jennifer Aniston) freaks when Ross (David Schwimmer) outlines their future together. Repeat.
“3rd Rock from the Sun,” NBC at 9:30: The gags are out of this world when Dick and Albright (John Lithgow, Jane Curtin) are stranded in a snowstorm. And Sally (Kristen Johnston), fearing that she and her date (Ian Lithgow) are the storm’s only survivors, decides she must procreate to preserve the human race. Repeat.
“Living Single,” FOX at 8:30: In a laugh-filled repeat, Regine’s mom (Chip Hurd) walks in on Regine and Keith making love. Also, Overton’s (John Henton) attempts to propose to Synclaire (Kim Coles) are repeatedly frustrated.
“Republican National Convention,” ABC and CBS 6; NBC at 6:30: Bob Dole and Jack Kemp deliver their rah-rah acceptance speeches as the GOP rally draws to a close.
Cable Calls
“The Life and Times of … ” TNN at 5 and 9: Glen Campbell, country’s “rhinestone cowboy,” is profiled. Weighing in are the singer’s friends Tommy Smothers and Andy Williams, songwriters Larry Weiss and Jimmy Webb, Campbell’s wife and daughter.
Campbell’s bout with drug and alcohol abuse and his religious conversion are discussed.
“Red Sun” (1972), TNT at 5 and 9:35 p.m.: You want a tough guy? Here’s a night of films starring Charles Bronson. In the offbeat western “Red Sun,” Bronson searches for a stolen samurai sword. Then, in “The White Buffalo” (1977) at 7:30, he’s Wild Bill Hickok tracking down a beast that roams his nightmares, signifying his fear of death.
For night owls, it’s Bronson in “Chino” (1973) at midnight, an obscure spaghetti Western about a half-breed horse rancher who would prefer to be left alone - but of course he’s not.
“Mermaids” (1990), LIFE at 9: A first-rate mix of comedy and drama from Cher and Winona Ryder as eccentric single mom and angst-ridden daughter, respectively. It’s a perfect role for Cher, but Ryder steals the film with her performance of a ‘60s teenager coming to grips with her sexuality. Bob Hoskins also stars.
Talk Time
“Tonight,” NBC at 11:35: U.S. Olympic track and field gold medalist Michael Johnson and comedian-actor Norm MacDonald.
“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS at 11:35: Actor Tom Selleck, New York Yankees pitcher Dwight Gooden and singer George Jones.
“Late Night With Conan O’Brien,” NBC at 12:35 a.m.: Actor Jackie Chan and actress Kyra Sedgwick.