The Boy From England’s Just Looking For An Oasis

Oasis, the latest new rock thing out of England, may be over before its career has even gotten started.

There’s been no official word yet, but it appears the group is beginning a three-week American tour without lead singer Liam Gallagher.

The group took off last week without the 23-year-old singer, who told reporters that he merely stayed behind to iron out some personal matters. “There’s no story,” he said.

Maybe not. But no one seemed to notice when Noel Gallagher, Liam’s brother and the band’s songwriter, replaced baby brother during a concert on Friday. It was that concert that convinced the group to proceed with the tour - with or without Liam.

Loose talk

Bette Midler moaning about the dominance of action movies (in the Ladies Home Journal): “This whole fascination with guys’ butts and biceps has completely ruined it for actresses.”

Know what he says to nosy reporters? Beat it

Michael Jackson turns 38 today.

Take an aspirin and call a new cast member in the morning

There’s something odd about the lead actors on the television drama “Chicago Hope”: They keep wanting to quit. Mandy Patinkin left after one season, and now Adam Arkin says he may go. “The hours are too long, the role is too constricting,” complains the 40-year-old actor.

Afterward, they went to Toys ‘R’ Us and bought the place out

He may be approaching middle age (see his birthday item at left), but Michael Jackson is still… child-like? He testified Tuesday in a suit involving family, which is being sued by the producers of the “Jackson Family Honors” because, they claim, Michael was supposed to perform (he claims he never agreed to, and anyway he didn’t). During his mother’s appearance, Jackson continually covered his face and giggled.

Now the ‘Friends’ don’t have his shoulder to lean on

Seems the cast of “Friends” may need hazardous duty pay. While doing a stunt during shooting on Friday, Matt LaBlanc dislocated his shoulder. So if later in the season he shows up wearing a sling, we’ll all know why.

And three of them won Olympic gold, too

As if those big check they get for playing aren’t enough, most of the top professional athletes are rich hucksters, too. This year’s list of athletes most likely to be paid to promote something includes Michael Jordan ($38 million), Shaquille O’Neal ($23 million), Arnold Palmer ($16 million) Andre Agassi ($16 million) and Jack Nicklaus ($14.5 million).

And that, to a genius like King, is true misery

Now that Stephen King’s finished with the sixth and final installment of his serial novel “The Green Mile,” don’t look for him to do a repeat. As he says, “The critics get to kick your (backside) six times instead of just the once.”

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: 2 Color photos

The following fields overflowed: CREDIT = Compiled by staff writer Dan Webster