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Hack Finn

The most famous line about golf has to be Mark Twain’s memorable mot: “Golf is a good walk spoiled.”

NBC commentator Johnny Miller’s reaction: “Obviously, that guy was a hack.”

In Miller’s case, it’s a good walk overanalyzed.

Lord Backhand of Doublefault

Boris Becker has won Wimbledon three times. Now he wants to buy another title: Lord of Wimbledon.

Becker said he intends to bid for the manorial title the Lordship of Wimbledon, one of five being put up for auction later this month by Earl Spencer. The 32-year-old earl, brother of Princess Diana, is selling the titles to avoid inheritance tax.

“I only heard about the title being up for sale when I was home in Germany a couple of weeks ago,” Becker said. “I think it would suit me fine. It sounds great, doesn’t it?”

Becker may try to gain an advantage by making an early approach. “I will be contacting Earl Spencer to see what, if anything, can be arranged,” he said.

Becker has a strong attachment to Wimbledon dating to 1985, when he won there as an unseeded 17-year-old. He won again in 1986 and 1989.

The Lordship of Wimbledon has been in the Spencer family since 1744. The title could go for as little as $75,000, a bargain for a man who has won more than $20 million in his career.

Time to haul ash

Scotland’s rugby union players usually hold training in even the worst conditions. They draw the line at volcanic ash.

The Scots, training for the final international test against New Zealand, cut short their session in Rotorua because of ash falling from Mount Ruapehu, about 50 miles south of their training center.

“We have got to keep our focus on rugby, not ash,” team manager Jim Telfer said.

So much for conjugal visits.

OK, ‘Goofy,’ then

Maybe we should rethink the term “Mickey Mouse management.” Outgoing California Angels president Richard Brown, who lost his job when Disney took the team over, said it’s unfair to put down the Angels’ marketing efforts compared to the new owners.

“We never had the funds to package or leverage the way Disney does,” he said. “Disney has more money to market, they have more money to leverage. Heck, they’ve bought half the world.

“A perfect example is Opening Day (pregame entertainment). This year, we spent $7,500 on Opening Day because that’s all we could allot. Disney reportedly will spend $300,000. Disney can do so many more things because of cross ownership. They can say, ‘Buy a ticket to an Angels game for $50 and we’ll throw in a trip to Disneyland.’ We say, ‘Come see the Angels play for $15 and then go to Disneyland on your own. Say hi to Mickey for us.”’

The last word …

“You know who is marketing a fragrance now? Chicago Bulls superstar Michael Jordan. I only have one question: does it smell like Michael Jordan in the first quarter or does it smell like Michael Jordan in the fourth quarter?”

- David Letterman

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo