Cheap Seats
Help the judge find his wallet
A woman who expected to get a new car for making a hole-in-one is suing organizers of the Caregivers’ Golf Classic for failing to come up with the prize.
Jeri Foster hit the ace May 10 on the par-3 11th hole at Cress Creek Golf & Country Club in Charleston, W.Va., and contends she is owed $20,000 and interest.
But the event’s insurer says Foster was too close to the hole, even though she made the shot from the designated women’s tee, 120 yards away. The insurer said it should have been made from 170 yards. Organizers said Foster declined a settlement offer.
What, did they ask her to settle for a 2?
Maybe they should make the sign neon
Those damned Dallas Cowboys just can’t stay out of trouble. Now Deion Sanders is in hot water.
Sanders was fishing with a friend when they were arrested for trespassing at a restricted lake in his hometown of Fort Myers, Fla.
Sanders said the temptation of the lake’s large bass was just too great.
“The only defense I have is that I’m sorry, but they were biting,” Sanders said. “I wasn’t out there 10 minutes and they caught me. But I had 10 fish by that time.”
The lake is on property of the Southwest Florida International Airport and has no trespassing and no fishing signs posted. Sanders, who owns a home just north of the airport, was warned verbally to stay out of the area May 7 and received a written warning May 9. He was arrested by two officers and charged with a misdemeanor.
You don’t suppose the end-zone strut and spiking of the pole he did after each fish gave him away.
A free drop out of casual water
Cubs pitcher Mike Campbell gave up five first-inning runs to the Dodgers before rain washed out a game last week. He started again the following day and got the win, allowing just two runs in five innings. “Like getting a mulligan,” he said.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Peter Westbrook, who will be competing in his sixth Olympics, began his fencing career during the 1960s, trying to emulate his hero.
“This is going to sound strange, but I wanted to be Zorro all my life,” he said. “I went to a Catholic school, and I used to think about swinging on the chandeliers, saving the nuns and stuff like that. I used to dress every Halloween as Zorro.”
Saving the nuns is Jesus’ job, Pete, not Zorro’s.
My oh my
Chicago’s temperamental Tony Phillips stormed over to Mariners announcer Dave Niehaus before a recent game and growled, “I heard you said I needed anger counseling!” To which Niehaus replied, “I said you were a candidate for anger-management classes.”
Phillips thought a moment, then said: “That I can accept.” Then he laughed.
And then he punched his lights out.
The last word …
“I’m waiting to hear Steve Kerr say he won’t return to the Bulls unless they bring back Jud Buechler.”
- Michael Ventre, Los Angeles Daily News
, DataTimes