This Is A Case Of Addiction
Dear Ann Landers: I’m a single woman and live with my mom. This arrangement works for both of us since we get along well, and it’s a financial boon to me.
Mom is nearly 60, has always stayed at home and has never been interested in volunteer work or club activities. Dad is a truck driver and gone a lot. Lately, Mom has been spending a great deal of time on her computer. This was a nice hobby for a while, but it has gotten out of hand, and I’m concerned.
Mom is on-line every night until at least 3 a.m. She sleeps until 1 p.m. and puts in anywhere from 10 to 13 hours a day on the computer. Her computer is in her bedroom, where she keeps the door shut and smokes two or three packs of cigarettes a day.
I understand this is Mom’s house and it’s her life, but other family members are worried about the way she has cut them out completely and prefers to talk to strangers.
I should tell you she has let everything in the house go. She no longer prepares meals and does no housework and very little laundry. If it weren’t for me, the place would be uninhabitable. When I confronted her with my concerns, she berated me for attacking her and started to cry. She has threatened to sell the house and move out of town.
Please tell me what to do. - Auburn, Wash.
Dear Auburn: Your mother’s hobby has become an addiction. She is hooked as surely as if it were cocaine. The woman will not respond to reason, so don’t waste your time. She is going to need professional help to get back on track.
If it’s any comfort to you, your mother is not alone. Thousands of people have become computer junkies in the last few years. The only thing you can do is hang in there and hope your mother realizes she has a problem and is willing to see a therapist. P.S. It might help if your dad cut back on his road hours and spent more time at home.
Dear Ann Landers: Why is it when you are the only person who orders dessert, the server brings extra forks or, worse yet, places your dessert in the middle of the table? This forces the person who ordered the dessert to allow the others to dig in, which is not only irritating but unhygienic.
My boyfriend, who is a waiter, says he brings extra forks to save a second trip. He claims it’s also a good way to sell more desserts. The assumption is that when people sample YOUR dessert, they will order one of their own. I’ve never seen it work that way. They just eat more of yours.
I find nothing more annoying than a server who encourages others to eat part of my dessert. I ordered it, I’m paying for it, and I’d like to eat it myself. If I want to offer samples of my chocolate decadence, I will do so on my own.
What do you say, Ann? Is there any grass-roots support for my Dessert Revolt among your readers? - Contemplating Dessert Forks as Lethal Weapons in Minnesota
Dear Dessert Revolutionary: As a bona fide out-of-control chocoholic, I can tell you that if you are the only person at the table ordering a luscious dessert, you are going to have “partners,” whether or not the waiter brings extra forks. If you want the whole dessert to yourself, my advice is to order a second one for the “tasters.”
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