Give Time To ‘Ms. Scrooge’? Humbug!
I was awakened last night by the Ghost of “Christmas Carols” Past, who guided me back to the days of Alistair Sim, Reginald Owen, Albert Finney and even Bill Murray to witness their portrayals of Ebenezer Scrooge. He took me through a full screening of “Mr. Magoo’s Christmas” and a dozen sitcom variations of Dickens’ immortal tale - each good for a laugh or two.
Returning to my chambers, I was once again in a deep, peaceful sleep when I awoke to the chilly presence of the Ghost of “Christmas Carols” Future, who led me to the den, turned on the VCR and popped in a review cassette of “Ms. Scrooge,” which airs at 9 on USA.
“Spirit,” I cried. “Cannot the future be changed?” Alas, not.
Cicely Tyson stars in this contemporary adaptation that is neither profound nor joyous. It is a holiday turkey, with an overcooked performance by Tyson and a thin gravy of contemporary drippings that adds little.
Tyson is Ebenita Scrooge, a Providence, R.I., banker who loathes Christmas as much as she loves money. Her nephew is the Rev. Luke (Michael Beach), a gospel minister.
Among her employees is Bob Cratchit, whose son Tim is jeopardized because Scrooge doesn’t have an employee health plan.
It never comes together. And as anyone who has ever staged the play knows, it should be zipped through in no more than an hour and a half. “Ms. Scrooge” fouls out in overtime.
Bah! Humbug! By the time Ebenita was redeemed, I had long since lost interest. And my unworldly companion had fallen fast asleep.
Highlights
“The Nanny,” CBS at 8: Fran (Fran Drescher) falls for Maggie’s (Nicholle Tom) philosophy teacher and astrology maven (Harry Hamlin).
“Spin City,” ABC at 8: Alyssa Milano (“Melrose Place”) guest-stars as the mayor’s daughter, who demonstrates for animal rights by riding nude on horseback through Central Park.
“Beverly Hills, 90210,” FOX at 8: Does anybody watch this show now that the “kids” are getting older? As Emma (Angel Boris) pursues Brandon (Jason Priestley), he gives Kelly (Jennie Garth) the cold shoulder.
“Murphy Brown,” CBS at 8:30: At a charity auction, Murphy (Candice Bergen) competes against Olivia Newton-John for a chance to conduct a symphony orchestra.
“Dharma and Greg,” ABC at 8:30: Laurie Metcalf (“Roseanne”) makes a rare guest appearance as an evil self-defense instructor who is stealing students from Dharma’s (Jenna Elfman) yoga class. Drew Carey has a cameo.
“Law & Order,” NBC at 10: Robert Vaughn guest-stars in a stirring story of a reopened arson-murder case that leads investigators to the victim’s teenage stepbrother. He’s protected by a politically connected grandfather (Vaughn) who is also a close friend of Schiff’s (Steven Hill).
Cable Calls
“A Gift of Song,” TNT at 5 and 7: UNICEF’s 50th anniversary is celebrated by Mary Chapin Carpenter, Celine Dion, Simply Red, Chris Rock, Rod Stewart, Aaron Neville and others.
“Titanic: Untold Stories,” DISC at 8 and midnight: The underwater guided tour of the ship highlights this hour.
The dramatic re-creations are thin (garish colors seem a cover for cheap production), and there’s little new material. But the story is always a fascinating one.
It’s followed at 9 and 1 a.m. by “Titanic: Anatomy of a Disaster.”
“Ebbie” (1995), LIFE at 9: This updated version of “A Christmas Carol” stars daytime diva Susan Lucci in the title role. It’s another mishap.
Talk Time
“Tonight,” NBC at 11:35: Tim Allen (“Home Improvement”), correspondent Ann Curry (“Today”), and Hootie and the Blowfish.
“Late Show With David Letterman,” CBS at 11:35: Actor Anthony Hopkins, hockey star Eric Lindros and singer Enya.
“Politically Incorrect With Bill Maher,” ABC at 12:05 a.m.: Mimi Rogers and musician Ray Manzarek.