First Lady’s Conspiracy Rap As Tinny As The Media Ditty

I’m caught coming and going.

The far right considers us journalists to be part of a “liberal media conspiracy” that’s undermining our values. Now, the first lady considers us conservatives to be part of a “vast right-wing conspiracy” to get her hubby.

Well, I’ve been in this business almost 28 years and have yet to see a media conspiracy, if by conspiracy you mean “planning and acting together secretly.” The media are too jealous of each other to plot together. However, there’s no question liberals dominate news centers like New York, Washington and Los Angeles - and that influence filters out to the boondocks. But then, I’m not impressed with Hillary Clinton’s conspiracy theory, either. Sure, a lot of conservatives hate her husband (just as liberals hated Ronald Reagan). If there is a conspiracy, however, the conspirators are inept, given the chances provided by the president’s serial scandals.

Frankly, I’d forget the latest scandal if the philanderer in chief promised to wear a chastity belt and his missus had the key. If something isn’t done, she’s going to start seeing black helicopters.

Was Wary Larry waging a protest?

U.S. Sen. Larry Craig carefully explained why he watched the State of the Union speech from his office rather than in person. But then, the Idaho Republican always is cautious when the press is around. Said Craig: “It’s a matter of logistics … I did not judge him, nor do I believe others should.” Wink. For all the surface restraint shown by Republicans, they’re enjoying Clinton’s current scandal - Monicagate? Fornigate? Tailgate? - behind the scenes. Witness all the jokes about the Monica Lewinsky affair e-mailed to me from GOP points. My favorite? “Only President Clinton could divert attention from a sex scandal with another sex scandal.” Bottom line? If Craig sat out the SOTU speech out of disrespect for the president, he should say so. It certainly won’t cost him votes in Republican Idaho.

Cyberspace enthusiasm shouldn’t mean ‘spam’

Hmmm. Rep. Helen Chenoweth and her Republican primary opponent, Gary Paquin, have turned to cyberspace for support. Our Miss Chenoweth claims she’s raising bundles by making electronic donations easy via a “Helping Helen” button. Paquin, meanwhile, is busy gathering the e-mail addresses of congressional district voters. Here’s hoping neither side is tempted to “spam,” or send out unsolicited political ads on the Internet. A Kootenai County commissioner candidate did that a few years back. Ah, what was his name again?

, DataTimes MEMO: D.F. Oliveria’s “Hot Potatoes” runs Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can comment on the items by calling (800) 344-6718 or (208) 765-7125, or by sending e-mail to daveo@spokesman.com.