Is A Burger Without Meat Still A Burger?
Swept up in the Fourth of July spirit, we served The Spokesman-Review’s reader food panel an all-American menu of burgers.
Soy burgers, that is.
A Commie pinko plot? Not quite. Because of concerns about cholesterol, E. coli (watch out for those pinko hamburgers) and animal rights, alternative patties have been gaining popularity.
We tried three of them: soy-based burger knockoffs from market leaders Gardenburger and Morningstar Farms, and a Fantastic Foods offering that we thought was soy-based but turned out to be made of veggies and grains.
While none exactly wowed the avowed carnivores on our panel, the fat-free Gardenburger soy patty - a recent addition to the Portland company’s previously all-grain line - was judged the most vaguely beef-like.
Morningstar’s fattier, chewier Grillers burger, which reminded some panelists of sausage and others of fish, scored slightly lower than the earthy Fantastic Foods burger (which included directions for heating in a toaster, much to everyone’s amusement).
A panel member who’s dabbled a bit in faux burgers said the fat-free Better Than Burgers would be a better Morningstar choice. And soy-based patties from another brand, Boca Burgers, grilled up great in a later home test - more tender than the Gardenburger, but without the off-flavors of Morningstar’s Grillers.
When grilled (the panel ate them pan-fried), all the burgers had a more meat-like texture, although none was still likely to fool a beef aficionado.
Then again, after piling on the ketchup, mustard and relish, the differences start to disappear.
Fearing an angry mob when the burger tasting was finished, we appeased the panel with a trio of chocolate ice creams for dessert.
Again, the lowest-fat offering was the favorite: Haagen-Dazs’ surprisingly rich Chocolate Fudge Brownie reduced-fat ice cream (that’s reduced-fat, remember, not reduced-calorie), which came close to averaging a five-star rating.
The lighter, mellower Milk Chocolate Mud Bath from the new Paul Newman’s ice-cream line scored a solid four stars. But Starbucks’ hazelnut-accented, high-calorie Chocolate Chocolate Fudge (the company’s first noncoffee ice-cream flavor) barely reached the four-star mark - paling by comparison to its cousin, Starbucks’ Biscotti Bliss, which was the only product to receive a perfect five-star score from the panel last year.
Given the fond way some panelists still speak of it, they’ll probably remember its stars - and stripes - forever.
Gardenburger, Hamburger Style
Price: $2.83 for 10 ounces (4 patties).
Nutrition: 90 calories (no fat); 370 milligrams sodium per patty.
Taste: **
Value: **
Comments: “Not great, but not a bad fake burger.” - Mark Barrett
“Texture of plywood and chews like a wood product also. These should be sold at Eagle.” - Sandy Davidson
Fantastic Foods Nature’s Burger, Original Grilled
Price: $2.59 for 10 ounces (4 patties).
Nutrition: 120 calories (13 percent fat calories); 290 milligrams sodium per patty.
Taste: **
Value: **
Comments: “Chewy, like a piece of hearty bread. Very tough texture.” - Beth Kowal
“It’s vegetable soup in a patty - blah!” - Ann Finke
Morningstar Farms Grillers
Price: $3.03 for 9 ounces (4 patties).
Nutrition: 140 calories (43 percent fat calories); 260 milligrams sodium per patty.
Taste: **
Value: **
Comments: “Greasy like sausage, tastes like nothing I’ve ever tasted. Nice picture on the package.” - Bob Bates
“Nasty greasy salty fishy spongy smelly slab of fake food.” - Catherine Lunt Greer
Haagen-Dazs Lowfat Ice Cream, Chocolate Fudge Brownie Price:
$2.99 for 1 pint.
Nutrition: 190 calories (13 percent fat calories); 110 milligrams sodium in cup.
Taste: ****
Value: ***
Comments: “Give me a quart and put me to bed. I’m happy! I may even get up to sneak some more. All this and low fat.” - Mark Barrett
“Slobbery, decadent, over-the-top chocolate ice cream. All the chocolate extras, except chips. Why stop there? Why not throw in a few chocolate chips?” - Catherine Lunt Greer
Newman’s Own Ice Cream, Milk Chocolate Mud Bath
Price: $3.98 for 1 quart.
Nutrition: 190 calories (47 percent fat calories); 45 milligrams sodium in cup.
Taste: ****
Value: **
Comments: “Very chocolaty - tongue-coating, fantastic.” - Tina Johnson
“Distinctive chocolate flavor, creamy, yummy. If you like chocolate, this is a good one!” - Ann Finke
Starbucks Ice Cream, Chocolate Chocolate Fudge
Price: $4.29 for 1 quart.
Nutrition: 290 calories (52 percent fat calories); 60 milligrams sodium in cup.
Taste: ****
Value: **
Comments: “Strong aftertaste of hazelnut.” - Eileen Bakken
“Really, really sweet, intense chocolate, strong chocolate aftertaste. Good, but it ain’t Biscotti Bliss!” - Sandy Davidson