Cheap Seats

Humble pie, anyone?

Former player and manager Jim Frey knows what it feels like to be knocked down a peg or two. One of his favorite banquet stories involves the time he was a minor league outfielder in the Cardinals system.

“The manager told me I was traded,” Frey recalled. “I asked him how many players did you get for me? And if it helped the ball club.

“He said, ‘We didn’t get any players for you. And, yes, it helped the club.”’

The human bowling ball can bowl, too

Pittsburgh Steelers running back Jerome Bettis recently rolled for 299 … not in yards, but pins.

Bettis bowled a near perfect game with 11 consecutive strikes in an event in North Brunswick, N.J. He left one pin standing on his last roll.

When it is was suggested that Bettis should join the pro bowling tour, he said football was easier: “I’m done. I’m sweating and tired. I can’t wait to lie down.”

Out of the closet

Phil Collier in the San Diego Union-Tribune: “During one of his recent visits here, (Don) Larsen laughed when reminded of the lead paragraph one New York writer wrote after Larsen’s el perfecto in the 1956 World Series: “You have to understand that Larsen had always been regarded as just a so-so pitcher before his one afternoon of fame. Accordingly, the lead read: ‘Don Larsen, the alcoholic pitcher, isn’t anonymous anymore.”’

Wild about World Cup

Here are some early predictions from soccer’s World Cup this month from Bob Kravitz of the Rocky Mountain News: “Nil-nil, one-nil, nil-nil, nil-nil, nil-nil, one-nil.

“But lots of that wonderful European soccer hooliganism.

“You know, if the sport wasn’t so bloody boring, these people wouldn’t be so compelled to drink themselves into a frenzy and then slug one another for entertainment.”

In a class by himself

Dennis Rodman was selected the No. 1 “Nuttiest Athlete” by the company that produces Nutella, a chocolate hazelnut spread.

The Chicago Bulls’ rebounding specialist was the overwhelming choice of those who were asked to help pick a winner, according to a company official.

Severe penalty

Richard Williams, 54, a first-degree black belt in kickboxing, also is competing in a “masters boxers” program. By day, he’s a librarian at Yale.

Said Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune:”If I’m an Eli, I’m taking those due dates seriously.”

Talented, rich cupcakes

Philadelphia Flyers general manager Bob Clarke, on how too much money too soon hinders the development of younger players: “There’s no Chevys in their driveways. They jump from nothing to BMW’s, and they almost become soft on you.”

The last word …

“I don’t even know to spell Zen.”

- Indiana Pacers coach Larry Bird when asked if his stoic response to Reggie Miller’s winning shot in Game 4 of the NBA playoff series comes out of the Zen philosophy that Chicago coach Phil Jackson embraces.