Cheap Seats
And for most of us, a few more than that
Brent Geiberger, the son of Al Geiberger, won the Greater Hartford Open on Aug. 1.
Still, he never ceases to be asked about his famous father, the first golfer to shoot a 59 on the PGA Tour.
“I shoot 59 every time I go out and play,” Brent Geiberger said. “But I always have at least a couple of holes left to play.”
The zen of umpiring
Fat and arrogant. That’s the assessment of American major league umpires made by a Japanese ump who recently suspended himself for three games for blowing a call.
“Major league umpires are stubborn, and they’re spiritually strong,” umpire Toshiyuki Tanaka said. “For me, it’s about staying humble.”
The 59-year-old Tanaka, a 35-year umpiring veteran, said he respects the pride that major league umps have in their work, but believes they have overstepped their bounds in their current labor dispute.
“They don’t realize that there are plenty of guys out there who can do their job,” he said. “Handing in resignations - that’s exactly what the league wants.”
In a bid to force an early start to negotiating a new contract, major league umpires announced last month that they would quit en masse on Sept. 2. That plan collapsed after major league baseball accepted 22 of the resignations and hired 25 new umpires.
In addition to shedding their arrogance, Tanaka suggests U.S. umpires lose some weight as well.
“They can’t move. They’re too fat,” said Tanaka, a muscular 6-foot-tall man who jogs daily and has little flab, weighing 210 pounds.
In a nation where harmony is valued over conflict, the attitude of Japanese umpires like Tanaka stands in stark contrast to the American men in blue.
Japanese umpires patiently endure insults from managers that major league umps would never tolerate. They wouldn’t dare to call strikes with the trademark howl of their American cousins.
Nice place to visit, but …
Damon Bailey, the one-time Indiana schoolboy legend, the one-time Indiana University shooter, continues to pursue the NBA dream, having most recently played for the United States in the Pan American Games after spending the previous four seasons in the Continental Basketball Association.
In Winnipeg, Manitoba, for the international competition, someone asked about his college coach, Bob Knight.
“Would I go back?” Bailey said. “I don’t know. That’s a very difficult question. I am happy that I did (go to Indiana in the first place). I guess it’s kind of like the Army. Everybody says they are glad they did it, but they may not do it again. When my time to graduate was up, I was glad to go….”
The last word …
“I wonder what Joe DiMaggio would be considered today.”
- Pete Sampras, on being deemed boring.