Cheap Seats
And they wear those neat shirts, too
Who are the smartest athletes in the United States? According to Weekly World News, bowlers are the smartest - and golfers are the dumbest.
This comes from a supposed four-year study of more than 58,000 athletes.
Athletes were said to have taken a series of standard IQ tests and bowlers scored highest: an average of 129, 29 points above the average. Golfers did the worst at 97, finishing behind everyone from racquetballers (121) to soccer players (100).
No more Mr. Nice Guy
Glenn Foley played quarterback for Jacksonville Jaguars coach Tom Coughlin at Boston College and is now a backup quarterback for Bill Parcells with the New York Jets.
“They’re almost identical, really,” he said. “They’re both really intense and great coaches. Behind the scenes and on the field, they’re basically the same. They’re both maniacs.”
Just like the guys
Phil Mushnick of the New York Post says women’s basketball has reached parity with the men’s game when it comes to humiliating opponents.
Mushnick cited scores of 130-0 in a Texas high school game, 117-20 by Connecticut over Quinnipiac and 130-55 by Louisiana Tech over Cleveland State, Phil Mushnick of the New York Post made the following observation:
“The same twisted condition that has removed sport from so many men’s sports is now afflicting women’s sports,” he wrote. “Kicking people when they’re down, shooting fish in a barrel with a machine gun, is not sport, it’s the antithesis of sport.”
Picking on the NBA
Rick Morrissey in the Chicago Tribune: “Time for the (NBA) players to put away those Will Work for Gold Chain picket signs.”
Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News: “David Stern said NBA teams will offer $10 tickets this season so families `can continue’ to attend NBA games. For the first time in 20 years.”
Jay Leno: “Forget about the owners and the players. I’m happy it’s over because it hurt the little people. But enough about Bob Costas.”
Can Jamal Anderson hit a curveball?
The night after the biggest victory in the Atlanta Falcons’ 33-year history, participants in a radio “sports roundtable” chatted about the playoff win over San Francisco, the upcoming game against Minnesota, then opened up the phone lines.
Caller one wanted to talk about the pitching staff of the Atlanta Braves, whose season starts in four months.
Caller two asked about a prospective recruit for the Georgia football team.
And caller three asked a question about high school sports.
The last word …
“I still had the talent, and I’ve grown. I’ve even grown since I’ve been off. I feel so tall. I’m used to being itty-bitty and I’m not itty-bitty anymore.”
Dominique Moceanu, describing her growth from 4-feet-4 to 5-feet-2.