Here’S One List Spokane Doesn’T Need To Make

Golf Digest, in an attempt to ease some of the anxiety that comes from trying to plan the perfect golf vacation, has published a list of the world’s top 50 golf destinations in its September issue.

No, Spokane didn’t make the final cut - which probably speaks more to limited marketing budgets than to the quality of courses and accommodations in our region.

Personally, I wasn’t disappointed by the snub. Every time I write out a $20 check for greens fees - and get money back - I appreciate what we have here in the Inland Northwest in the way of fine, affordable golf. And I could care less whether the rest of the world gets in on the deal.

But I was a little put off by GD’s rankings, which seemed much too snooty for my modest tastes.

When I think of the perfect golf vacation, I think first of cost. Why start anywhere else? If you can’t afford it, forget it, right? Which is why I can basically forget all but about 10 of the destinations on the list.

Granted, I’ve been fortunate enough to play several of the world-class courses mentioned in connection with some of the premier destinations, but in nearly every case I was in the area on business, with everything but my golf covered by the company.

No. 1 on the list, for instance, is Monterey, Calif., home of the 17-Mile Drive and 17 Million Mercedes. I’ve played two of the courses mentioned there - Pebble Beach and The Links at Spanish Bay - and paid full fare.

That translated, several years back, into $285 to play Pebble Beach, without a cart, and $185 to play at Spanish Bay in rain, wind and hail with no rain check available. The golf courses were wonderful, but the experiences weren’t. And money had a lot to do with it.

I had heard playing Pebble Beach was a “religious experience,” but I can’t remember the last time I threw $300 into the collection plate. And I still cringe, every time I think about $6.50 that I paid for a 12-ounce bottle of Heineken at the snack bar on the outward nine.

St. Andrews, Scotland; Pinehurst/ Southern Pines, N.C., Northern Ireland and Southwest Scotland/Ayrshire round out the top five. The Pinehurst experience might fall within my budget as sometime during my lifetime, but those others? Heck, I’ve been charging on my Mileage Plus Visa for 12 years and still don’t have enough miles to fly to Sheboygan, Wis., which checked in, surprisingly, at No. 7 on the list, and at least sounds affordable.

Phoenix/Scottsdale ranked No. 8, and Tucson, Ariz., came in 30th. I’ve played several of the resort courses in both areas, and spent several days in the Valley of the Sun in early April as part of an actual golf vacation with three college buddies.

Normally, we take turns hosting our annual reunion. One of my friends lives in the Denver area (ranked No. 39), another in Fort Worth, Texas, and another in Iowa - which didn’t make the list, either. But since we all turned 50 this year, we decided to go somewhere special. And while the weather and golf were fabulous, my mad-money account took another huge hit.

One of my friends is a travel agent, who managed to get us “discount” room rates at The Sheraton Conquistador in Tucson. We slept two to a room, still paid $260 a night - plus a $7 resort fee? - and I ended up on a hide-a-bed after losing a coin flip.

About five years ago, we also held one of our golf reunions in Las Vegas, which ranks No. 36 on Golf Digest’s vacation list.

Mistake. Big mistake.

The night life was sensational, but the golf was nightmarish - and way too pricey for a town that still offers breakfast buffets for $2.69, provided you’re willing to stand in line for 45 minutes.

In order to make up for our anticipated gambling losses, we booked tee times at public courses, rather than the Desert Inn, Reflection Bay, Royal Links and the TPC at the Canyons, like GD suggests. The wind howled all four days we were there and the greens on two of the courses were so dry and bumpy they putted like Monroe Street.

We stayed at The Mirage, hoping that maybe Steve Wynn - who still owned the joint back then - would let us play Shadow Creek. But Mr. Wynn apparently wasn’t impressed with the meager credit lines we opened at the front desk, so we played Angel Park and Legacy Ridge, instead.

Yech!

Which pretty much sums up my feelings about Golf Digest’s pretentious vacation destination rankings.

Personally, I’ll take Spokane - where I can always slip over to Coeur d’Alene and play the Resort course, if I need to spend lots of money to have a good time.