Moms Helping Moms
Years of work taught Trish D’Andrea that she needed conversation, productivity and the satisfaction of a job well-done to thrive.
A move to Coeur d’Alene in 1997 and a child changed all that. Trish found herself at home, among no adults questioning her contribution to her family.
“I’d always worked. I feared being at home,” she says, rocking Dominic, 11 months, in the crook of her arm. Her daughter, Mackenzie, is 4. “MOPS helped me grow.”
MOPS is Mothers of Preschoolers, a nationwide Christian group. A friend in Georgia told Trish about MOPS. It unites women raising toddlers and encourages them to support and teach each other.
Trish, 30, found a Coeur d’Alene chapter at Lutheran Church of the Master. Bonnie Pratt, 37, found the same chapter a year ago. Her son, Nicholas, is 5 and her daughter, Rebecca, is 3.
“I fell in love with it right away,” Bonnie says. “I was so happy to walk in and see all these women in the same boat with the same interests - friendship, raising children in a healthy environment. It put me at ease.”
Trish and Bonnie can’t sit in the same room without falling into animated discussions.
They share potty-training frustrations and end up laughing. They compare challenging comments their parents and grandparents make about their parenting skills and understand they’re enduring a rite of passage.
They find even greater satisfaction at the MOPS gatherings. They meet one Wednesday evening a month with about 15 other mothers. They learn crafts, listen to speakers and talk about topics that grab their attention.
Two moms at a recent meeting mentioned their decisions to have no more children. One was happy. One was sad. The topic stayed with Trish and Bonnie long after the meeting.
“It made me think more about it, opened a conversation with my husband,” Bonnie says.
Kathleen Kennedy discovered three years ago that MOPS is one of the few places outside her Coeur d’Alene home she can relax with her three children: Will, 5, Nora, 3 and Maggie, 1.
“Around people who spend a lot of time with young children, no one looks at you like your children are disturbing them,” she says.
The women Kathleen, Bonnie and Trish see at MOPS face similar issues and offer a variety of perspectives. They fill one another’s need for meaningful conversation, appreciation of their productivity and satisfaction with their dedication to their young children.
“I consider it my time for myself, time to be me,” says Bonnie, who worked full-time in the computer industry until she had children. “I’m finding who I am, and MOPS is helping. It makes me look at myself, how other people view situations. I wish all moms knew about it.”
Shopping list
Drop some extra laundry detergent, oven cleaner or bath towels in your shopping cart this week. Those items may not sound like thrilling gifts, but they’ll ease life at Coeur d’Alene’s Women’s Center shelter.
If practical things don’t interest you, how about giving a tricycle, Barbie doll or some fast-food gift certificates. Everyone needs a night out.
Dozens of women and children hide in the secret shelter from abusive spouses every year. They leave home in a hurry and typically arrive at the shelter with nothing.
Neighborly generosity helps. Give skate passes, perfume, mittens, napkins, videos, tools, blankets, games, dishes, art supplies, toilet paper. Think about starting from scratch, then choose a gift. Call 664-9303 for donation directions.
This sidebar appeared with the story: MORE INFORMATION MOPS meetings
Mothers of Preschoolers will meet next at 6:30 p.m. Jan. 10 at Coeur d’Alene’s Lutheran Church of the Master. For details, call Bonnie Pratt at 676-1704.
Another MOPS group meets mornings at Hayden Lakes Friends Church, 772-7544.
The national MOPS organization offers information via the Internet at www.MOPS.org.