Don’T Mess With The Umpire

They take their baseball seriously in Nolan Ryan’s hometown. Even when kids are playing.

A police sergeant thrown out of his teen-age son’s game after an argument over a call retaliated by giving the umpire a traffic ticket when he left the ballpark.

But it was the officer who got in trouble. Randy Langston, a sergeant for 17 years, was demoted to patrolman Thursday.

Langston also takes a $5,500 pay cut and was put on probation.

Langston, the assistant coach on the Pony League team for 13- and 14-year-olds, was ejected from the game May 1 for arguing a close call at first base. He went home, put on his uniform, returned to the ballpark and waited for the game to end.

When the umpire, Terry Hessenflow, left in his car, Langston stopped him and gave him a warning ticket, saying the ump had failed to signal.

Is this really true?

“Man, we did some crazy things all over the world,” said Meadowlark Lemon, who played with the late Wilt Chamberlain in Wilt’s one year on the Harlem Globetrotters.

“Behind the Iron Curtain, they used to close things down around 9 or 10 o’clock. Wilt and I decided to have some fun and hide people’s cars. Wilt picked up people’s cars and walked them around the corner.”

Stark Raven mad

Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg in the San Francisco Chronicle: “Murder and assault charges against NFL linebacker Ray Lewis were dropped after he pleaded guilty to obstruction of justice and agreed to testify about what he saw, answering the question: When does a Raven sing like a canary?”

Lucky charms

Forty of the 264 parquet squares that made up the Boston Celtics’ floor at Boston Garden are being auctioned online at sothebys.amazon.com.

Richard Sandomir of the New York Times reports that the minimum bid for center court, which includes the leprechaun logo, is $75,000.

Neighbor of the year

Shaquille O’Neal says he shoots 200 free throws every night, starting at 7 o’clock.

Responds Bud Geracie in the San Jose Mercury News:

“ He used to start later, but the neighbors complained about all the noise.”

It gets our vote

PGA Tour player Stuart Appleby referring to “Caddyshack,” which debuted 20 years ago this summer: “It’s probably the greatest film of the 20th century.”

Yeah, Stuart, surely more prominent than “Gone With the Wind,” or “Citizen Kane.”

The last word …

“Nothing like giving your life savings to a bipolar, racist, psychotic.”

- Nathan Lane on the prospect of John Rocker becoming a stockbroker.