All The Essential Elements - But The Wrong Sport

“The Legend of Bagger Vance” has Oscar written all over it, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

Oscar’s faves are all here: Big Themes treated in an unthreatening way, fancy-pants actors, period costumes, solemn drama and a bit of romance. A virtual remake of the Robert Redford baseball film “The Natural,” “Bagger,” directed by Redford, is also about a goldilocked sports hero who loses his gift and wants it back.

Damon plays golf, though, and the sport doesn’t lend itself to the kind of mythologizing about honor that “The Natural” traded in. Characters keep trying to pump up the metaphoric purity of the sport, comparing it to slaying dragons and saying of Damon, “He was brave, valiant, fearless” and “He’s got the guts of a Greek god.”

But I kept thinking to myself, “We’re still talking about golf, aren’t we? The sport you can play if you’re not in godlike shape? The one where people wear black knee socks? The one that spawned the Jamie Farr/Fig Newton Pro-Am?”

When a script hits this hard, it’s as if the screenwriter doesn’t even believe it, so he has to keep convincing himself. The sport isn’t innately heroic or dramatic. It’s a lot of walking and watching, which is why there is no rich, echoing history of golf movies.

Set during a golf match, “Bagger’s” attempts at greater significance fail. We are told Damon lost his swing after fighting in World War I, but the movie doesn’t show what horrified Damon, so it has no impact. We would need to experience Damon’s time in the valley of the dead in order to understand his elation when he returns to the land of the living (and the land of the putting), but “Bagger” refuses to go to dark places.

There are also some themes the movie should feel uncomfortable about but doesn’t. Smith plays the title role, the caddie of caddies, who hands over inspiration and nine-irons. He’s always one step ahead of Damon, but he knows his place, so he pretends to be a step behind (true, the movie is set in the `30s, but couldn’t one of the characters notice the racism?).

The whole setup — millionairess Charlize Theron sponsors a golf match to save her fading fortune — is uninvolving. Why should we care about rich people exploiting the poor to save their fortunes during the Great Depression?

Even more disturbing are the supporting cast, who behave as if they’re interpreting for the theatrically impaired — especially J. Michael Moncrief, as the child through whose eyes we view the action. It’s a large role, and Moncrief doesn’t so much say his lines as knock them senseless, like a duffer trying to drive with a baseball bat.

This sidebar appeared with the story: “The Legend of Bagger Vance”

Locations: NorthTown Mall, River Park Square, Spokane Valley, Coeur d’Alene Showboat Cinemas

Credits: Directed by Robert Redford, starring Matt Damon, Will Smith, Charlize Theron, J. Michael Moncrief, Bruce McGill, Jack Lemmon

Running time: 2:05

Rating: PG-13