A ringing sensation
San Jose Mercury News columnist Skip Bayless had this reaction when Charles Barkley challenged him and another sportswriter to a celebrity boxing match:
“I will box Charles if, first, he plays me in celebrity golf and races me in a celebrity 10K. If Charles wins, the proceeds will go to charity, as he proposes. If I win, the proceeds will go toward my hospital bills, for the celebrity boxing. …
“I’m not sure exactly what I’ve written or said on various TV and radio shows that gave Charles the equivalent of bad-burrito indigestion. Maybe it was something in the early ‘90s about how the only championship ring Charles would ever wear would be trying on one of his buddy Michael Jordan’s. Charles could score and Charles could rebound, but the only way he would ever “come up big” was on the scales. All Barkley, no bite.
“That’s the kind of forgettable stuff I might have said about a guy I never trusted in the clutch.
“Now, alas, the closest poor Charles will ever come to a ring is a boxing ring against sportswriters. Now Charles probably imagines doing to me what Evander Holyfield did to that geek in the recent beer commercial — literally knock his head off.
“That makes poor Charles no different than some of my faithful readers.”
Better Sooner than later
Oklahoma punt returner Antonio Perkins, who had a record three punt-return touchdowns against UCLA last season, has graduated ahead of schedule.
The Oklahoma City-based Oklahoman newspaper reported that Perkins, who earned a degree in criminology, still has a year of eligibility left and will play for the Sooners next season as a graduate student. Perkins, who attended summer school classes every year because of NCAA-approved stipends that paid for housing, said: “I was just trying to get some bills paid.”
Late Night advice
From Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “If what goes around comes around, car co-owner David Letterman is about to hear Indy 500 champ Buddy Rice deliver his “Top 10 Reasons Why I Deserve a Pay Raise.”
Oughta be in Congress
Senator John McCain, a guest last month on Fox Sports Net’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” said:
“Don King is one of the smartest, sharpest guys I’ve ever met. He, in my view, uses the system. … You know who is the president of Mike Tyson’s fan club at $250,000 a year? Don King’s daughter.”
The family plan
Gerry Callahan of the Boston Herald reports that new Boston Celtics coach and current ABC commentator Doc Rivers is the nephew of former NBA player Jim Brewer and a cousin of former Baltimore Orioles outfielder Ken Singleton.
He is married with four children and has a large extended family.
“So I think I’ve figured this out,” Callahan wrote. “With the Rivers family in the fold, the Celtics just doubled their fan base.”