T.O. needs a timeout
Asked about his contract problem with the Philadelphia Eagles, Terrell Owens told the Miami Herald’s Jason Cole: “At the end of the day, I don’t have to worry about what people think of me, whether they hate me or not.
“People hated on Jesus. They threw stones at him and tried to kill him, so how can I complain or worry about what people think?”
Phil Sheridan of the Philadelphia Inquirer admitted he couldn’t find any mention in the King James version of the Bible of people who ‘hated on Jesus,’ but said there seems to be “a direct correlation between the man the New Testament says died for the sins of all mankind and T.O., who wants a new contract from the Eagles.”
Sheridan’s findings:
•”Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Owens’ Eagle career began at training camp in Bethlehem, Pa.
•”Jesus fed the multitudes with loaves and fishes. Owens wants more bread and thinks there was something fishy about his original deal.
•”Jesus rose from the dead after just three days. Owens came back from a broken ankle in just five weeks to play in the Super Bowl.
Old man and the sea
Karl Stein became the oldest participant in the Chicago Yacht Club’s Race to Mackinac Island, Mich., when he took part in the 107th race at age 96.
“But forget the sailing,” wrote Art Perry of the Seattle Times. “His competitors just like having him around to hear all the old Christopher Columbus stories.”
Old faithful
“You’ve got your death, you’ve got your taxes, and you’ve got Lou Piniella melting down after another lousy call by the umpires,” wrote Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post.
“This guy can do it all – throw bases, toss his cap, kick dirt on the umps, scream at writers and smash water coolers. Does that make him a five-tool maniac?”
Match play
On the possibility of someone putting the brakes on Tiger Woods, Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote: “He’s 29, and who’s going to stop his scorched-earth march? I’d like Vijay Singh’s chances if Vijay were 22. He’s 42. The rest of the Big Five? Retief Goosen is 36, Ernie Els and Phil Mickelson are 35.
“The only positive note for Woods’ rivals is that they can look to the future for their own sons and be thankful that Tiger didn’t marry Michelle Wie.”
Try passing the buck
“Former quarterback Heath Shuler, a North Carolina Democrat, has announced plans to run for Congress in 2006,” wrote Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times.
“Based on his four-year NFL completion rate, any legislation he introduces will have a 49.2 percent chance of passing.”
They said it
“The difference between the old ballplayer and the new ballplayer is the jersey. The old ballplayer cared about the name on the front. The new ballplayer cares about the name on the back.” – former Dodger Steve Garvey.