Nursing child of age 7 is rare

Dear Annie: My friend, “Lisa,” and I both gave birth to daughters seven years ago, and we both breastfed our infants. Lisa had another two children and breastfed those infants as well, but she also continued breastfeeding the others. Now her children are 7, 5 and 3, and all of them are still breastfeeding.

Last month, I took my daughter over to Lisa’s house to play. I was shocked when the 3-year-old walked up to his mother, pulled up her shirt, and started breastfeeding while we were sitting at the kitchen table having lunch. Later, as we sat talking in the family room, her 5-year-old son did the same thing. My chin almost hit the floor. I didn’t say anything, but Lisa noticed I was uncomfortable. She said, “Breastfeeding is healthy for the children.”

After that, I excused myself and left with my daughter. As you can imagine, my daughter had a lot of questions on the drive home. Although she has seen relatives breastfeeding their babies, she couldn’t understand what was going on in this situation. I’m not sure I understand it, either.

Annie, I have no problem with breastfeeding infants, but these are walking, talking children who attend school. Am I a prude? And, if this is normal, how should I have behaved? I have not gotten together with Lisa in her home since this happened, and frankly, I’m not sure I want to. But our daughters are in the same class at school, so I am bound to see her somewhere. Tell me what to do. – Red-Faced Friend

Dear Red-Faced: While breastfeeding a toddler is quite common, most children wean themselves long before the age of 7. Nursing a child that age is often more for Mom’s benefit than the child’s. Our concern is if Lisa is encouraging an unhealthy dependence. However, what Lisa chooses to do in her own home is her business. The friendship need not suffer. If it makes you uncomfortable, arrange to see Lisa outside her home, and have your daughters play together at your house.

Dear Annie: I have a friend, “Delores,” who continually asks for advice, but she has never taken it. After many years of this, I finally told her to stop asking and figure things out for herself.

Now Delores has started asking me questions in my field of expertise. Yet, whenever I give her an answer, she argues about it. – Bewildered

Dear Bewildered: This is her way of showing her superiority – not an uncommon response in insecure people. Either stop answering her or say, “I’m not sure. What do you think?” which allows Delores to expound while you nod your head and ignore her.