Do you have a complaint? Do it constructively
“I took my car in for a simple oil change, and they bashed in the front fender! What do they do, hire idiots? I will tell everyone I know how horrid this experience was, and I am going to call the Better Business Bureau!”
“This dress is the same one I found last week in a different store for $35 less! I want a full refund on the dress I bought from you, because it is overpriced. Who cares if it has been worn several times? You’re just trying to rip me off!”
“I signed my son up to take this class, but others are getting more attention. I want a refund; you did not tell me there would be favoritism! My son tells me all he does is sit in time out.”
In 2006, the BBB office in Spokane (which services Eastern/Central Washington, North Idaho and Montana) processed more than 5,000 complaints, and that does not include the ones we simply could not handle. This past year was a banner year, but we are seeing some troubling new trends in complaints these days. BBBs are not alone in witnessing people wanting to dish out criticism, sometimes with little regard for the facts, and often with no suggested solutions. This backlash merely makes our jobs harder.
So, how should one complain? There is a knack to it, to be sure:
“ Avoid name-calling, too much focus on “personalities” and personal attacks.
“ Focus on the issue, not your anger.
“ Have some options available for alternative solutions when you complain.
“ Make sure you have all the facts, and from more than one source.
“ Be reasonable, be kind and listen.
“ If you are angry, walk away and come back when you are calm.
“ Put yourself in the other person’s place and see if your perspective changes.
“ Check your grip of reality before you embarrass yourself.
It is way too easy just to dish out criticism with no means to an end in sight. We see it every day in politics, the media, and life in general. People who just stand by and throw critical comments quickly appear whiny, like children trying to get their way, which is unappealing and unproductive. Keeping the goal in mind will help avoid that appearance.
With the three above-mentioned complaint examples that merely “vent” frustration, let’s explore the real issues at hand for a clearer perspective on resolutions:
The car with body damage: Turns out this fellow’s son claimed the shop damaged the car, and Dad immediately believed his son and started calling the employees names. Well, the shop has video footage of the car as it was driven into the repair bay by the son, and it was already damaged. Dad neglected to check the facts as well as his anger.
The used dress and claim of overpricing: We hear variations of this kind of complaint way too often. This is a market-driven economy, so prices are not fixed. Consumers seeking the best price need to shop around on their own. However, there are many who think they are always in the right, always owed something. The condition of the product they want to return has no bearing on anything. This is someone who didn’t comparison shop.
Young boy in class: This complaint is a classic example of not checking facts, not understanding the “terms” of a contract (that the son’s spot can’t be resold to another student). Bottom line? The good of the group outweighs the individual. This is a tough lesson for the young person, but an even harder one for his mom.
When my staff comes into my office to complain about an internal issue or take potshots at another staffer, my first question always is: “Let’s not think problems. Let’s think resolution. What are some potential solutions to your issue?” Without my staffers processing their answers to this question, they more times than not swiftly move into destructive behavior, which steers them away from reasonable problem-solving.
For the most part, humans like to solve problems, but they don’t like to be blindsided by someone just tossing stones. Begin with the end in mind, leave the emotion out, and solutions are just around the corner.