Artist’s Kitchen: Want healthy? Don’t look here

My favorite chef (judging by his cookbooks, at least), Chris Schlesinger, was once asked which ingredients he’d choose if he had only three to work with. He picked lime, bacon and oysters.

“Shellfish because I have an interest in seafood. Lime because it’s a good seasoning I use a lot. Bacon because bacon makes the world go round. I have to have bacon in there someplace,” Schlesinger told Robin Insley of Starchefs.com in the fall of 1996.

Now that’s my kind of guy. I like making stocks and sauces from scratch; grinding my own chili powders; canning, freezing and drying produce from my garden; smoking (food); and roasting peppers and garlic. Just doing the little things that can make a simple dish – say, a roasted chicken – exceptional.

There’s definitely a place, however, for bad food. Schlesinger also wrote somewhere that, as a rule, the best chefs like not only the best food but the worst, as well, and by proof he offers recipes like barbecued bologna and grilled bologna and bacon sandwiches. You should probably stop reading if your New Year’s resolutions included healthier eating. I’m not here to help this month.

When I don’t feel like cooking and am in the mood for some seriously bad food, here are a few of my guiltiest pleasures: a Spam and mustard sandwich on cheap white bread; Banquet chicken, sprinkled liberally with garlic powder and cheap chili powder; Tater Tots, the same way; and any cheapo bad pizza, with extra pepperoni. (I hope my doctor isn’t reading this.)

As I’m writing, three things recently happened in the sports world that I never expect to see again on the same day: Gonzaga got back to its winning ways in league play; the Seahawks squeaked out a win in their first playoff game; and, wonder of wonders, WSU beat No. 7 Arizona and is tied atop the Pac-10.

I don’t expect the Hawks to make it far this year, but in the spirit of the big game, and celebrating the occasion, here’s one of Schlesinger’s concoctions that I haven’t tried but sounds super.

I’ve thrown in some bad food as well, as a bonus. The recipe for grilled bologna and bacon sandwiches follows.

Grilled Chicken Thighs with Persian Style Nut Rub

From Big Flavors of the Hot Sun, Chris Schlesinger & John Willoughby, William Morrow & Co., 1994

8 chicken thighs

Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup lemon juice

1 tablespoon ground cumin

1/4 cup Persian-Style Nut Rub, warmed in a sauté pan over medium heat to perk up the flavor (recipe follows)

2 lemons, quartered

Sprinkle the thighs with salt and pepper, then grill, skin side down, over a medium-low fire until the skin is crispy, 8-10 minutes. Flip over and cook an additional 4-6 minutes. To make sure the thighs are fully done, make an incision close to the bone and check for redness; if you see any, return to the grill for another minute or so.

Meanwhile, mix together the honey, lemon juice and cumin in a small bowl. Brush this mixture on the chicken thighs immediately after removing them from the grill and then sprinkle generously with the nut rub. Return the thighs to the grill for 1 more minute, turning once, or just until the nut mixture has crisped up. Serve with lemon quarters for garnish.

Persian-Style Nut Rub

1/4 cup sesame seeds

1/4 cup ground pistachios

2 tablespoons ground almonds

1/4 cup finely chopped fresh oregano

1 tablespoon ground allspice

Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper to taste

In a medium size sauté pan, roast the sesame seeds, pistachios and almonds separately over medium heat, shaking the pan frequently to prevent burning, until they are just browned, 4 to 5 minutes each.

When all the nuts are roasted, combine them with the remaining ingredients and, using a coffee grinder or blender, process until fine, about the consistency of coarse meal.

Yield: 8 appetizer servings

Approximate nutrition per serving: 272 calories, 13 grams fat (3 grams saturated, 48 percent fat calories), 17 grams protein, 14 grams carbohydrate, 58 milligrams cholesterol, 2.3 grams dietary fiber, 129 milligrams sodium.

Grilled Bologna and Bacon Sandwiches

12 slices bologna

1/2 cup barbecue sauce of your choice

12 slices bread of your choice, toasted

12 slices bacon, cooked until just crisp

6 leaves lettuce

6 thick slices tomato

1 onion, sliced 1/4-inch thick

Sweet pickle relish, to taste

Grill the bologna slices over a medium-hot fire until marked with grill marks, about 1 minute per side. Remove from the grill, paint thickly with barbecue sauce and pile two slices between each two slices of toast, along with 1/6 of each of the other ingredients. Serve and get out of the way.

Serving suggestions: Serve this with a bag of potato chips, a quart of cola, and a subscription to a health magazine.

Yield: 6 servings

Approximate nutrition per serving: Unable to calculate due to recipe variables.