So, what’s more offensive: The performance of the worst team in Major League Baseball or two fans kissing in the stands? Well, one Seattle Mariners fan thought it was the latter, so she complained to an usher, who then told the couple to cool it. Oh, by the way, it was a lesbian couple.

It seems the complainer was with children and she said the smooching made her uncomfortable. Granted, it’s tough to explain to kids why the only SoDo mojo is in the stands, regardless of sexual orientation.

It’s like trying to explain why a manager screams naughty words at the umpires. Or why the players chew and spit that brown stuff. Or cheat with steroids. Or get into brawls. Or “adjust” themselves incessantly.

But somehow parents find a way.

Anger limit. Four bucks a gallon for gasoline. Saudi sheiks telling President Bush to take a hike. The military in harm’s way. Trillions of taxpayer dollars spent over the past 50 years trying to keep the Middle East stabilized because of our addiction to oil. Don’t you just want to scream?

Well, here’s something we can do that would reduce oil imports from OPEC by 20 percent: drive 55 miles per hour on highways and freeways. That’s the savings we’d get, according to the U.S. Department of Energy.

So who’s with me? We’ll show ‘em who’s boss!

Hello? Hell-oooooo? Oh, so you’re not that angry.

Breaker 1-9. In 1974, the feds bribed the states into lowering the speed limit to 55 mph on highways after OPEC imposed an embargo on countries that supported Israel in the Yom Kippur War. States that didn’t go along lost federal transportation dollars.

“Double nickel” was unpopular but it did save gas. It also spawned the CB radio craze, as drivers alerted each other to the whereabouts of state troopers. Nobody wanted to “feed the bears.”

The gas shortage also triggered long lines at stations – and sometimes fights. To alleviate the waiting, some states imposed rationing schemes. If your license plate ended in an even number, you could only purchase gas on even days. Ditto, for odd numbers.

So if the worst of it this summer is a “staycation,” just remember that it could be worse, good buddy.

Helmet optional. Now that Hillary Clinton has conceded defeat, the question arises: Now what? Will she be offered the vice presidency? Will she return to the Senate? I doubt Barack Obama would pick her as a running mate, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t put her to good use.

She could be ambassador to Bosnia. It’s a lot safer now.