Put son’s interests above own desires

Dear Annie: I met my current boyfriend while separated from my ex-husband, and we now have a beautiful son together. The problem is, I cannot let go of my ex-husband and his family. I’m sure they feel the same, because we secretly see each other all the time.

My ex-husband was unfaithful. When I found out, I left him. But there is a lot of unfinished business between us. You’d think I would never cheat since I was the victim of such a betrayal, but I’ve discovered that I have no power over being faithful to my child’s father.

Is there any hope for me to be faithful to any man in this lifetime? I am always asking myself whether there is someone better out there. Do you think my ex and I have a chance at love again? – Lost Unfaithful Love

Dear Lost: Honey, you need to grow up a little and understand yourself better. Of course you can be faithful, but not if you are still “looking.” You have a child now and a responsibility to provide a stable environment for him. This means putting his best interests above your desires.

Are you pining for your ex because he represents excitement? (Cheating, because it is clandestine and forbidden, can do this.) Have you resolved the issues that ended your marriage? Have you worked on improving your current relationship? Before you upend your son’s life, please get into counseling. Ask your boyfriend to come with you, explaining that you have some issues and want to strengthen your relationship. If he won’t go, go alone and figure this out.