Boyfriend confessed to kissing other girl

Dear Annie: I’m in my early 20s and have been dating “Aidan” for a year. He attends college two hours away. He doesn’t socialize much and stresses a lot about his grades. His only real friend is “Cara,” a girl we went to high school with. Cara lives in a house with several other girls.

The first time I met her roommate “Lisa,” I felt uncomfortable. I’m not the jealous type, but something about her bothered me. Still, I continued to be nice to her and supportive of Aidan’s friendships.

A few days ago, Aidan came clean and told me that he had drunkenly made out with Lisa. He said he was stressed over school and went to see Cara, but only Lisa was home. He got drunk, and they got overly friendly. He said he felt terrible and was tormented for a week before he told me. He promised it would never happen again.

I’m having a hard time trusting my boyfriend, and I certainly can’t trust Lisa. I don’t want him to be friends with her anymore. Aidan says I’m being unreasonable since Cara is his only friend. He doesn’t want to cause problems or be lonely because he can’t go to her house or has to leave if Lisa is there.

I’m hurt and confused by his perception of the situation. He doesn’t think it should be a big deal because he didn’t sleep with her. I want Lisa completely out of the picture. I feel that Aidan is more worried about upsetting Cara and her roommates than he is about upsetting me. Shouldn’t he take my side? – Northern Petunia

Dear Northern: Yes. We agree that he needn’t give up his friendship with Cara, but being around Lisa is problematic. Aidan needs to support your position on this and take the necessary steps to avoid being in a compromising place. He can see Cara outside of her apartment. If he is unwilling to change his visiting habits, you need to decide whether you can trust him or not.