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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Dad Daze: Dare to dream when thinking about a career

“Dare to dream” was the response when my daughter Jillian asked what I thought of her possible college major and potential vocation when she was a high school freshman. The conversation was during autumn of 2014. I had recently interviewed comic Lewis Black, which had quite an impact. His close friend, the iconic Robin Williams, had recently committed suicide. The subject of money was bandied about since many choose their careers based on compensation, which is fine for many but, it didn’t save the brilliant actor-comic.

While discussing Williams’ tragic demise and the state of America, the charmingly cranky comic hit it right on the head when attempting to define the most elusive of states: happiness. “I think it all has to do with a job that doesn’t feel like work,” Black said. “But most people think that money makes it for everyone. When Robin, who was a great guy, died, I heard, ‘If he had all of the money, how could he kill himself?’ Well, if you have all of the money in the world, you still have to live with yourself.”

I asked Black if he was any happier then as an in-demand headliner than as a struggling playwright during the 1980s. “All I know is that having money doesn’t make you happy,” Black said. “I have been stupidly successful. But I’m no happier than I was when I could barely afford more than food back in the ’80s.” After experiencing a life-altering whitewater trip, five days and four nights navigating up the New River, which flows northward, Jillian at age 9, wrote a travel piece for West Virginia Magazine.

The following year while at lunch in Tampa with a travel publicist, Jillian asked the flack some questions and not long after decided that she wanted to write professionally as a public relations specialist. During that conversation in 2014 when I urged Jillian to follow her dreams, she said she was set on becoming an entertainment publicist. It was no surprise since Jillian is obsessed with music and had met a number of my publicist pals.

Jillian visited their offices and experienced Atlantic Records President Ahmet Ertegun’s office, full of priceless, personalized memorabilia, just before the late legend’s office was about to be boxed. Jillian gazed at letters from icons such as the members of Led Zeppelin to the groundbreaking executive as well as an array of photos with rock royalty. Jillian sat in on some of my interviews with recording artists. She had no doubt about her career.

However, it’s a leap of faith diving into that world. The fractured music industry is much different than it was a generation ago. There aren’t myriad jobs. It’s a combination of what you know and who you know. In order to have a chance, Jillian had to study in an industry town. Jillian attended Pace University in New York and had two amazing internships at two high-powered agencies with notable clients such as Bruce Springsteen, U2 and Radiohead, as well as a bunch of baby bands.

What was most significant is that the agencies put her to work writing news releases, conducting research and interacting with clients. The experience was invaluable. However, my wife was aware of the job market and understandably nervous. “Jillian is going to end up a barista at Starbucks buried in college debt,” she said in a panic. I told her that she had to give it some time. Have faith in our daughter.

But I understand the fear. The cost of college is enormous and ridiculous. Colleges are selling a consumer product, which families believe is a ticket to the upper middle class. However, when the sheepskin is slipped into a student’s hand, an invisible anchor is placed around their neck. Student loans are the only debt folks can’t chapter 11 themselves out of, so a lucrative career better be on the horizon as kids manage a mortgage payment without possessing a house.

Since 1985, the average cost of college has risen 500%. The cost of college has doubled every decade and increases every year at four times the rate of inflation. I understand why many of my friends have encouraged their children to travel the secure route and focus on health care since a job may be there after they graduate.

A close friend who was forced to study medicine in order to become a physician always tells me that his life is about Saturday and Sunday since he hates his career. However, I’ve never been one to live for the weekend. I’ve always felt that you should be looking forward to Monday, at least to some extent, so my advice to my children remains to dare to dream.

Last week, less than a month out of college, Jillian was offered not one but two music publicity jobs. The initial gig, a remote assignment with her writing news releases and focusing on research, is perfect. Jillian is most excited about the opportunity to learn more with the dream of becoming a music publicity coordinator. “I’m absolutely thrilled,” Jillian said. “I always believed that I would get a job in my field, and I’m ecstatic about taking the first step.”

Jillian, 22, has a long way to go, but it feels like one down, three to go. My son Eddie, 19, is a business major who is focusing on baseball. Eddie can also be filed under dare to dream. Less than 5% of high school baseball players have the opportunity to join a college team.

Eddie was over the moon in 2019 when a Division 2 program offered him a roster spot and a nice package so his education is actually affordable.

Milo, 16, hopes to follow Eddie by playing college baseball and is pondering majoring in communications, like his sister. The same goes for Jane, 11, who would like to become a TV news reporter. Each child is following their passion. Eddie and Milo hope to become entrepreneurs and are optimistic. “You’ve always told us that anything is possible and that we should at least like, if not love, what you do,” Milo said.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard from lawyer friends, “You would have made for a great attorney.” Half of my “Legal Eagle” pals dream of leaving their career behind, and about a quarter of them have done so. I’m sure law would have been more lucrative than journalism. The same would have probably been so in sales, as well, but I don’t need a luxury car or to reside in an exclusive gated community if I loathed my workday.

Every day, I have an opportunity to write about a subject that is fascinating and different. I also wax about my life and family and hopefully make a difference. I’ve dared to dream and live without regret, and I’m hoping that it’s the same for each of my four kids.