Honored family remains: Funeral company partners with startup to offer loved ones alternative to cremated ashes
Justin Crowe’s first look into the death industry occurred five years ago when his grandfather died.
He said he was surprised to learn that two-thirds of surviving family members, who choose to have their loved ones cremated, take the cremains home with them.
“There are 20 million people in the U.S. living with cremated remains,” he said. “They’re on a mantle or in a closet. Cremains are not very nice to look at. It can be a really poor experience.”
Crowe, from Santa Fe, New Mexico, thought there had to be a better way to memorialize those we love.
“Do we have to receive remains in ash form?” he wondered.
With a background in product development and digital marketing, he applied for a grant at Los Alamos National Laboratory. There, material scientists developed a new form of solidified remains, and in October 2019, Crowe launched Parting Stone.
“We can solidify remains no matter how old or new,” he explained.
The solidification process looks like making ceramics in a laboratory. Once the remains arrive at the lab, they remove contaminants and refine the ash to create a clay-like material. From there, they form the “stones,” solidify them in a kiln and then polish them.
“The stones are very smooth and nice to touch and hold,” said Crowe. “They range in size from small to palm-size. Family members receive anywhere from 40 to 100 stones, depending on the amount of cremains.”
Feedback has been overwhelmingly positive.
“We’re trying to empower families in their grief by offering remains they can touch and hold,” he said. “We’ve heard from loved ones who skipped the stones across a favorite lake, or left them in special places, or carried them in their pockets.”
Crowe said Parting Stone has partnered with 200 funeral homes across the U.S. and Canada, including several in Spokane.
Scott Dahl, location manager for Spokane Dignity Memorial, a network of funeral homes, said his organization has been delighted to include Parting Stone in the options they offer to those who choose cremation.
“Sometimes the idea of spreading ashes is more traumatic than healing,” Dahl said. “In addition, the rituals we’re used to doing aren’t happening as often due to COVID.”
Locally, Parting Stone is offered at Hazen and Jaeger, Ball and Dodd, Thornhill Valley Chapel, and Advantage Funeral and Cremation Services.
“Innovation is quite rare in our business, and people have been really accepting of this on a widespread basis,” said Dahl.
When Kara DeGroff’s father died suddenly in October, she and her family members were thrust into making decisions they’d not considered.
“He had no family up here,” she said. “No one to be buried next to.”
She and her sister thought Parting Stone would be a fitting way to memorialize their father, and they’ve been pleased with their choice.
“They look like the perfecting skipping stones. They can be held or put out in nature,” DeGroff said. “We wanted his memory to be pleasant.”
In the spring when they are able to have a service for their dad, they plan to distribute stones to friends and family members who would like them.
That’s what drew Michael Whitley to Parting Stone when his mother died in September.
“Ashes aren’t soothing to the touch,” he said. “But we’re very happy with the way the stones turned out.”
He has a few on his mantle and some on a shelf in his study near a picture of his mother.
“We’re also going to distribute some in her favorite places like Bryce Canyon and a sunflower field,” Whitley said. “I’d like to take one or two to Hawaii. She never got a chance to go.”
He also plans to share the stones with his three siblings and his mom’s grandchildren.
“It’s a fantastic way to share my mom with all who loved her,” he said.
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Cindy Hval can be reached at dchval@juno.com