Dear Annie 11/22

Dear Annie: My husband is a chronic procrastinator. He puts off everything – from the small things, such as fixing a broken chair, to the really important stuff, such as making a will or getting a medical test. It’s difficult to schedule anything because he always waits until the last minute to decide what he wants to do.

Sometimes, I just have to wait because he won’t be pushed to act or make a decision. Other times, I just have to act on my own. I’ve tried the gentle approach and the firm approach. Nothing works.

To be fair, he has a lot of good qualities. He is kind and loving, and he’s a great cook. I don’t expect perfection, but this problem affects not just me but whoever is waiting for an answer from him.

I realize that he might never change, but how do I live with this and achieve peace of mind? – Tired of Waiting

Dear Tired of Waiting: People often procrastinate because they’re afraid they won’t be able to complete the tasks at hand. Fear of failure promotes procrastination when it reduces people’s sense of autonomy or when they feel incapable of dealing with a task they’re afraid will be a failure.

Don’t bail him out with friends and family who are waiting for an answer. Direct them to ask him again, and tell him and them that you are not his timekeeper. He will then have to deal with the ramifications of his procrastinations.

Dear Annie: I am an 18-year-old girl living very far from you, but I recently read one of your columns and thought you might be able to help me. I am doing really well in my academics and was just accepted by one of the best engineering institutions in the country.

Everyone around me is proud and happy, but something is pinching me. I broke up with my boyfriend last year, whom I loved deeply. He was my classmate. Eventually, he told me he loved me, too.

However, after four years of this shy love, we finally got into a relationship. A year later, we found ourselves in a complicated situation and split.

Both of us are depressed, and it’s been one year, and we are not able to move on. Neither of us wants to, yet I haven’t talked to him in a while. – Ms. Unforgettable

Dear Ms. Unforgettable: It sounds like neither of you can forget each other and you would be happier together. It sounds like it’s worth giving the relationship a second try. Pick up the phone and call him. Life is too short to worry about “what ifs.” See if you can get back together. Best of luck to you.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.