Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
Partly Cloudy Day 41° Partly Cloudy
A&E

Dear Annie 5/12

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: I recently separated from my husband, and we are in the process of a divorce. The relationship was a bit toxic. But it was my choice to leave, and I left for my own mental health, as I struggle with anxiety and depression and self-esteem issues.

I have reconnected with a man I dated a few years ago. He is so sweet, and he has told me he has always loved me. I told him I wanted to take things slow. But he was so amazing, I found myself falling hard.

We have made plans to go out of town for a weekend, but then I wouldn’t hear from him on those days we were going to go out.

I would hear from him on that Sunday, and he would tell me things like “my sister needed me” or “a friend got in a fight, and I had to help him.” But after that, he would message me several times a day every day.

Another weekend he went missing, I was very worried, thinking the worst. He told me he had an addiction problem with crack that has been going on and off for 20 years.

He said he stopped for many years, but he relapsed. He is going to meetings and getting help and is determined to beat it. My concern is I’ve done some research, and it doesn’t look good. I’ve read that addicts will tell lies and do whatever they possibly can to get what they want.

I’m so scared. I believe he is a good person, and he means it when he says he wants to get clean. But I see a therapist for my mental health issues, and she has said it is a very bad idea to get involved with him.

Since I just got out of a toxic relationship, I shouldn’t enter a new one with a guy that is too dealing with so many issues. Part of me knows she’s right, but the other part tells me he can get past this and we can be happy together. Please tell me what to do. – Cracked

Dear Cracked: Choosing to get involved with somebody struggling with addiction would be choosing a treacherous and painful path. You have to know what you’re signing up for.

Tell your quasi-boyfriend that you are not prepared for a relationship unless and until he receives the help he needs. Until then, cut ties. Yes, recovery is a long shot, but stranger things have happened.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are not tax deductible, but are predominately used to help meet the local financial requirements needed to receive national matching-grant funds.

Active Person

Subscribe to the Spokane7 email newsletter

Get the day’s top entertainment headlines delivered to your inbox every morning.