Miss Manners 6/9
DEAR MISS MANNERS: With work-related social events happening again in person, I will likely face unwanted attention over my beverage selection. I very rarely consume alcohol because of its unpleasant aftereffects on me (even from small quantities).
Almost inevitably in group settings, I’ll be asked what I’m drinking – and I don’t want to draw attention to my own boring story of drinking habits nor be a killjoy to the merriment of others.
I’ve tried brightly responding “sparkling water” or “the Nogroni” (non-alcoholic Negroni). In most cases, this response allows the conversation to move on. But every so often there is a further inquiry that feels hard to shut down gracefully.
I know I can count on Miss Manners to offer a gracious yet snappy response to inquiries about nearly anything; does she have any suggestions for questions about alcohol (non-) consumption?
GENTLE READER: Gracious? Yes. Snappy? No.
Most clever responses come off as either insulting or admonishing. Better to stick with something simple – and repeat it as often as necessary.
Miss Manners would have thought that for all the reasons not to drink, – including the most recent and amusing trend of being “sober-curious” – people would have learned to mind their business. But she supposes that if they did, she would be put out of hers.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 40-year-old single mother of twin girls who are 15 months old. After years of saving, I am proud to be in the process of purchasing a home in a great public school district.
I want to host a 2-year-old birthday party for my twins in my new home, but I would also like to make it a (slash) housewarming party.
Is there any credible way to send invitations announcing a 2-year-old birthday party and also a housewarming? And would it be odd to ask for gift cards for the housewarming on the invitation?
GENTLE READER: What would the invitation say? “The twins are expecting presents and so am I”?
Miss Manners is afraid that there is no way to express this sentiment politely. But if you can create a sizable gap between the girls’ birthday and possession of your home, Miss Manners will allow two separate parties with their purposes clearly stated. As long as no solicitation for presents – including gift cards – accompanies either one of them.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am sometimes called upon by various companies to provide consultations during meetings with several people. Because I am not familiar with the buildings, I generally arrive early enough to be the first person in the conference room.
Do I stand up when greeting the other participants, or do I stay seated? (I’m currently pregnant, not sure if that makes any difference.)
GENTLE READER: In general, standing up in this circumstance is polite. But whether it makes a difference if you are pregnant will depend on your relative speediness. If it is lacking, Miss Manners suggests you perfect the “I would, but this” look. It will come in handy over the next few months.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www.missmanners.com.