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The Slice

The key to a successful handshake

Most of us know how to do it when the other person is also an adult.

You know, firm but not too firm. One pump and you're out. Et cetera.

But what if the person wanting to shake with you is about four years old and has tiny hands?

Do you envelop the child's whole hand? Do you extend a couple of fingers for the youth to grasp? Switch to a fist-bump?

Chemical warfare against wasps

I would prefer to abide by a live-and-let-live policy.

But the wasps that have built a nest above our garage doors will not listen to reason. And clearly, they have no collective memory of last summer's conflict. (It did not go well for them.)

The nest is integrated into some crack in the eave. It cannot simply be knocked down.

So I had to spray.

Here are the active ingredients, as listed on the can.




*Contains petroleum distillates

Conversations with the car ahead

You know how you can find yourself glancing at decals and stickers on the back of the vehicle ahead of you at a traffic light?

Sure. And sometimes you can imagine a conversation with the driver based on the information before you.

Well, here's my ranking of what does or does not make you wish you could say something. You will notice I left politics out of this.

4. License plate for a far-away state where you used to live. (Bonus points if it is a small state.)

3. College sticker for a far-away school at which a member of your family matriculated. (Bonus points if it is a college known for something other than sports.)

2. License plate holder or other indication that the vehicle was purchased at a dealership in a distant city where you once lived. (This trumps out-of-state license plates because it is much more geographically specific.)  

1. A sticker for a far-away national park you love.

How to feel old (but not in a bad way)

Be within earshot of a summer intern noting that she had come across a story you wrote for the paper before she was born.

Five years before she was born.

Heavy petting

I guess that headline would be considered click-bait as I am sure some readers came here hoping for a cat photo.

But actually I was thinking about something else entirely.

Did you ever read Ann Landers in the paper as a little kid and occasionally wonder what in the heck she was talking about?

You might have suspected it was something dirty. But you didn't really know.

If their route had gone through Spokane

What might have happened to the guys in “Easy Rider” while here?

Marmots as bubonic plague carriers

Seriously, you can stop sending me these stories now. I am aware of this.

It's worth keeping in mind that China is far away.

At the S-R newsroom on Fridays

This is what it's like. One big dance party.

What's it like where you are?

Just wondering

In your opinion, what was the biggest difference between TV's “Cheers” and most real bars?

“Turning over in his grave”

Some of those said to be doing that in response to a certain development or event were actually cremated after their deaths.

What’s going on here?

This is from an old ad for aluminum cans. But here's a question. If he is going to tackle her, shouldn't he at least look at her?

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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