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True or False

This Spokane woman invented Festivus.

Just wondering

Over the years, how many Spokane area kids getting bikes for Christmas have been able to go for a ride on Dec. 25?

Praise for the USPS

I placed some Christmas cards in a mail box at a post office yesterday afternoon.

It was Sunday, so it's not as if I expected the cards to be sorted and placed in the delivery pipeline right away.

But lo and behold, at least one of the cards sent to a Spokane address was delivered today. I admit that I am impressed. When you think about the tons of mail they have to move this week, that's pretty remarkable.

How do I know about that card being delivered? Well, I'll tell you.

The card correctly addressed to our neighbors across the street got delivered to our house by mistake this afternoon.

So we walked the card over to our neighbors' house and had a nice little visit with the mother of two adorable children. So, in the end, the delivery mistake served as an excuse for a nice, friendly moment.

Thanks, USPS!

There are some great holiday scenes in movies not thought of as holiday flicks

Exhibit A. Among other things, “The Apartment” depicts a rip-roaring office Christmas party.

Did G.I. Joe and Barbie engage in premarital relations?

Define that however you wish.

I suppose this varied by household.

But I can just hear Ken saying, “Here now! Stop that! I'm not kidding!”

I’ll bet no one has ever asked this question

You know how it can be fun to visualize stick-pins on a map of the United States noting all of the destinations for your Christmas cards. 

Well, if instead of marking the delivery point of your holiday greetings those imaginary stick-pins indicated cities where H-bombs had been dropped, how much of this country would be devastated?

It’s not your little shredder’s fault

That you did not stay on top of the situation and wound up with bags of hundreds of to-be-shredded items that, using your little shredder, would take 37 hours to process.

True or false

The episode of “The Andy Griffith Show” in which Spokane is mentioned is the one in which a businessman from Charlotte has car trouble while passing by Mayberry on a Sunday and discovers that the town is all but shut down.  

Waffle maker territoriality

Do you experience that?

I'm guessing you do if you answer these questions “Yes.”

Do you get a little uneasy when someone else wants to use the waffle maker?

Does it annoy you when someone says it is “just” a waffle maker?

Would you rather be accused of being uptight and anal retentive than have some sloppy houseguest make an unholy mess of your appliance by slopping batter all over it? 

Two key questions

Do you mentally rehearse material before attending a party?

Have the circumstances you had visualized (that would allow you to seamlessly say what you planned to say) ever actually materialized once you got to the party?

Great moments in package mailing

It was a few years ago, at right about this part of December.

I was in line at the post office on South Grand. I was close enough to the service counter to hear the postal clerks talking with customers.

One of the clerks at the counter was pointing out to someone mailing a package that in the process of taping up the package with dark brown tape the customer had managed to cover up part of the recipient's address.

But the really mind blowing thing was that, for a moment, the customer seemed to be thinking “That would be a problem?”

Yes, that would be a problem.

Recalling a test-drive highlight

I suspect that most of the time people about to buy a new car have made up their minds before the test drive.

But I wonder. Can you recall a moment from a test drive that made your decision easy?

I can. It happened in Spokane Valley in September of 2000. Still have that car.

Still remember how it smoothly accelerated with authority. 

The Wednesday Slice question

What's a subject people you know repeatedly bring up in conversations with you even though you have demonstrated many times that you do not care about it?

Just wondering

Ever been in a library that offered a better view than the river panorama available at the downtown Spokane Public Library?

The Slice Blog recommends

If you have any interest in your family history, these folks can help you do some online research.

Because of holiday shedules, you would want to confirm volunteer availability before heading off to the library to meet them.

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About this blog

Features writer Paul Turner is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review in the Features department. He writes "The Slice" column, which appears six times a week and produces general features stories for the Today section.

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