Have Fun At A Picnic; Just Don’t Be Too Messy

Never mind what your mother taught you - the High Priestess of Protocol says it’s OK to engage in watermelon seed-spitting contests at picnics.

Just remember not to expel the seeds onto your plate or table, she hastens to add, and be sure to cup them in your hand.

“Picnics are a time to have fun. They don’t have to be dainty,” says Letitia Baldrige, former social secretary to ambassadors in Paris and Rome, chief of staff to first lady Jacqueline Kennedy and author of numerous books on modern manners.

“Enjoy your food in a lusty way,” she says, “but don’t make a mess.”

Ah, but what about that ubiquitous picnic favorite, fried chicken?

“Hopefully, it will be roast,” Baldrige delicately proposes. But if it isn’t, “bring five times as many napkins as normal and a small wastebasket” for the remnants, she advises.

Furthermore, she says, “if you’re eating a drumstick, don’t lead an orchestra with it, or point, as people are tempted to do.” And: “Eat anything like spareribs or corn on the cob with your fingers. It would look pretentious not to.”

Her ideal outdoor repast?

“A dream picnic is one in which there are no bugs, the weather is absolutely gorgeous … and the area is sprayed ahead of time so no ant would dare intrude. The food is light and varied and marvelous - not greasy - and easy to eat.”

Among her favorite picnic foods, Baldrige counts pates, ice-cold fruit cups laced with liqueur, pasta salad and an assortment of vegetables, lightly steamed and drizzled with some olive oil and lemon juice.

Sandwiches might be a universal picnic favorite, but Elizabeth Post, another etiquette maven, cautions against letting everyone make their own.

“It is wise to offer a choice of two or three kinds of sandwiches, and by all means label each variety, especially if they are wrapped in foil,” says the author of “Emily Post’s Etiquette” (Harper & Row). “Wrapping and unwrapping and pulling apart to view the insides can make hash of the most beautifully prepared sandwiches.

“And don’t make the mistake of using too much mayonnaise or too many tomatoes or other runny ingredients,” she adds.

Whatever the menu, “if food is cooked at the picnic area, no more allowances are made for the chef’s ruining it than would be made at a dinner party indoors,” writes Judith Martin, the author of “Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior” (Macmillan).

Martin emphasizes that indoor table etiquette rules generally - but do not always - apply to outdoor eating.

For example, she says, “It is permissible to execute extraneous wildlife found crawling across the picnic table, while any such creature making an appearance at a private, indoor dinner table must be ignored by guests.”

While there are no seating plans at a picnic, Baldrige thinks younger revelers belong on a blanket. “Once you start to creak,” she says - or if you’re over 40 - think about sitting on a folding chair near a small folding table.

Miss Manners says she doesn’t care who sits where, “although it is customary to ask permission before putting one’s head on someone else’s lap.”