Double Blessing Having A Baby Allowed Wynonna Time To Step Back And Re-Evaluate Her Life, Priorities

When Wynonna released her first solo album in 1992 after a decade in the Judds with her mother, Naomi, she was country music’s most famous daughter.

As her third album hits stores this week, she has a new designation. She’s now country music’s most celebrated mother and new wife.

The country world was startled early in 1994 when the unmarried Wynonna (she no longer uses her last name professionally) announced that she was pregnant and had no immediate plans to wed the father, Nashville businessman Arch Kelley III.

But the pregnancy proved a double blessing for one of the most acclaimed country singers of her generation. Besides giving her a son, Elijah Judd Kelley, who was born Dec. 23, 1994, it forced her to step away from the hectic pace of the solo career that had left her overwhelmed and, she says, frequently depressed. The break was part of a re-evaluation process that also included a change of managers.

The Ashland, Ky., native, who lives about 15 miles outside Nashville in a picture-book farmhouse on a 24-acre spread near her mother, surprised her fans all over again last month when she announced that she was pregnant again (the baby is due in July) and that she planned to marry Kelley.

In her first interview since her Jan. 21 wedding, Wynonna, 31, spoke about her baby, her husband and the struggle for her own identity after the extraordinary success of the Judds - a success generated by the mix of Wynonna’s marvelous voice and Naomi’s showmanship and drive.

Besides releasing the new album, “Revelations,” Wynonna will star in her own CBS television special on Feb. 23. She will start her U.S. tour March 15-17 and continue on the road through the end of May.

Q: What was your reaction in 1994 when you learned you were pregnant?

A: There were two reactions: joy and panic. I’ve always loved and wanted babies, yet I wasn’t married and I knew all the things that would come with that. I knew some people would be hard on me.

Q: What about the response of fans? Were they supportive or outraged?

A: They were mixed. I got the harshest of letters and the greatest of support. You learn during times like that who your friends are, and you learn how badly some people love to see everything as a scandal.

I worried a lot about the effect all that would have on Elijah and Arch.

Q: Wouldn’t it have been easier all around to have gotten married then?

A: I follow my heart, which has never failed me, whether in music or in my personal life. … And my heart told me to wait. When Arch and I had Elijah, I saw the way he loved our baby. It thrilled my soul to watch them together. He’s the greatest father in the world.

But I wanted to make sure we knew each other as man and woman, that we had a life together outside of Elijah. I wanted to know how I was going to feel in 10 years with this person.

That might sound selfish, but I knew someday that Elijah is going to get up and walk out of our life. I got a lot of flak for waiting, but I didn’t want to walk down that aisle until I knew there was no doubt in my mind. And that’s what happened when we did get married.

If we had gotten married earlier, there might have been some doubt.

Q: Let’s go back to 1992 and the first solo tour. What was it like going on the road without Naomi?

A: It was one of the single most traumatic experiences of my life. It was true agony and ecstasy.

I was feeling victorious onstage. Yet I also felt alone offstage, almost like an orphan. For the first two years on the road, I didn’t have a clue.

I thought I did, but looking back on it, I know I didn’t. I did well to just dress myself, show up on time and get the words right.

Q: Didn’t you feel warmth from the audience?

A: It took time for us to get to know each other. I only knew them through my mother’s filter. She was always the one out front, the one who did the talking between songs and made everybody feel at home.

But suddenly I had to be the hostess - Miss Congeniality - and welcome these people into my life. I found that startling because I wasn’t used to it.

I had always been able to hide behind my guitar and not have to say anything because my vocals spoke volumes about how I felt that night. Even in the media, I was often portrayed as the sort of aloof Judd.

Q: Aloof? I thought your reserve was due more to shyness.

A: Well, it was, but I think I got misunderstood by a lot of people. Often, people place someone who is insecure and the quiet one in that slot of being arrogant. People see someone famous and shy, and they assume she’s snooty. But the truth is I was dying inside to be loved and wanted.

Q: But didn’t all the sales and acclaim make you feel secure?

A: Believe it or not, it took Elijah, and for me to get off the road, for me to realize that if I never sing another note, I’m still worthy. That was tremendously important for me. You don’t learn about yourself through your successes. You learn through your failures and your mistakes.

Q: So what did that new perspective give you?

A: For years, my life was run for me. I was a slave to this business. I realized that I had to take control even if it meant changing my manager and a lot of other people around me. Until the last couple of years, I was just a chick singer. I was concentrating on my singing and nothing else. I didn’t even know my royalty rate at the record company.

It’s called the old-school mentality … and it is what has gotten so many country music artists in trouble. It’s the theory you have to cram everything into a couple of years because the career might not last any longer than that. God gave me this gift, and if I want to take a stinkin’ year and a half off, I can. Without the pregnancy, I would never have done it. I lost my butt financially, but I gained a life.

Q: Was it hard through the years to maintain relationships because you were so deeply committed to your career?

A: Of course. I’d be in a relationship for three years, tops, because at that point you probably have to get married or break up, and I sure as heck wasn’t going to get married.

Q: Why was marriage out?

A: I had no time. How can you have a relationship with someone when they are always having to take you to the airport and help you pack? Besides, I used to think that you had to sacrifice your whole life for marriage. I wanted to give any marriage my all, the way I do my singing, and I didn’t think I could do both.

Q: What changed your thinking?

A: I’ve seen how much Arch has been willing to sacrifice for me, and it made me realize that sacrifice is a good thing. When you have children, you learn to sacrifice. Your priorities really change. You don’t find your way overnight. You have to go on a journey, and I had never been on a journey with a man like this before. I had never taken that commitment step.