Don’t Hurry To Make Your Reservations At ‘Four Rooms’

Unpublished correction: Jessica Johnson is from Lakeland High School.

“Four Rooms” is the story of Ted, a hotel bellboy, and his wacky odyssey through a somewhat run-down Hollywood hotel on his first night on the job.

The film is made up of four segments, each written and directed by a different member of a group of supposedly young and hip filmmakers. The fact that “Four Rooms” actually functions as four movies instead of one should be the reason it doesn’t succeed, but what really kills “Four Rooms” is that two of the segments are hopelessly lame and one is just marginally interesting. Only the third film (made by Robert Rodriguez, who directed “El Mariachi” and “Desperado”) is funny.

In the first room, Ted encounters a coven of witches trying to resurrect a starlet who had been the victim of some bad experience in the hotel’s Honeymoon Suite years ago. Allison Anders is responsible for this segment of “Four Rooms,” and she obviously was trying to come up with something cool and offbeat, but the plot seems contrived. Despite appearances by Madonna and Ione Skye, this room leaves the viewer thinking, “So what?”

Ditto for the second room, which involves a man with a gun and a woman tied to a chair. A sophomore English class could probably come up with a more coherent, exciting plot than Alexandre Rockwell did in his part of “Four Rooms.” I never figured out what was going on.

The third room is the highest point in “Four Rooms.” Antonio Banderas plays the father of a boy and girl who must stay in their hotel room while their parents go to a New Year’s party. Ted is paid $500 to check in on the kids every 30 minutes and make sure they don’t misbehave.

Banderas paces the room like a bull, blowing smoke and barking orders; he is excellent in this movie. By the time the father walks through the door at midnight, the room is on fire, Ted has a hypodermic needle protruding from his thigh, the kids are sipping champagne and the audience is roaring with laughter.

Quentin Tarantino’s section of the film comes last; It was probably meant as the grand finale, but the third film easily eclipses it. Tarantino plays a high-profile actor who invites Ted to his room and involves him in a bizarre bet.

Tarantino basically plays himself, an irritating though high-profile Hollywood personality. In order for the bet to be interesting, the final determination of the winner should have been carried out with a great deal of suspense, but it didn’t work and “Four Rooms” falls flat at the end.

Ted (Tim Roth) should be the character that ties all these different elements together, but he is not very interesting either. Roth uses eccentric, exaggerated gestures instead of actual characterization, and that’s not a good swap.

“Four Rooms,” with the exception of the third room, tries too hard to be cool. Rodriguez’s segment should be shown as a short at the beginning of other movies, because it’s too good to miss.

Grades: First room, D-; Second room, F; Third room, A; Fourth room, B; Overall: C-

ILLUSTRATION: Color photo