It’s Something You Cannot Stop

Dear Ann Landers: Can you use another response to “Issaquah, Wash.,” the middle-aged woman who was celebrating her husband’s new job after three years of being unemployed? You said their negative attitude may have something to do with the bad luck she and her husband had been experiencing while job hunting.

Ann, jobs are not that easy to come by, no matter how old you are. I am 53 and have a back disability. I have been trying to find suitable part-time work for nearly 10 years. I have a bachelor’s degree and two associate degrees. I have taken three- and four-hour placement tests, scored well and not made it to an interview.

On an exam for one position I applied for, I scored higher than anyone in the room and still didn’t get an interview. Did I mention that between 1,000 and 2,000 other people showed up for the same job? Huge turnouts seem to be the norm these days.

“Issaquah’s” letter didn’t sound depressing. It sounded truthful. My girlfriend, who never understood why some people can’t find work, recently was demoted and put on part-time. So, now she is also job-hunting and, like me, hasn’t made it to an interview yet.

I have worked alongside people from other countries and discovered that they have work visas. I can’t understand why our government allows this when so many U.S. citizens need jobs. Care to comment? - Facing Forward in Fresno

Dear Fresno: It would be virtually impossible as well as ungenerous for the government to deny work visas to foreigners until every American is employed. Your situation is a difficult one, and I wish you the best of luck.

Dear Ann Landers: I am 33 and the youngest of five children. Like most families, we’ve had our share of problems - divorce, alcohol abuse, etc., - but for the most part, we are responsible, hardworking adults.

The real problem in this otherwise “normal” family is my mother. She is cruel and hateful to me. She tells my 11-year-old son that I don’t love him and am a terrible mother. After my divorce a few years ago, I started to date a man she didn’t care for. She made up a lot of lies to break us up - and I’m sorry to say, she succeeded.

I have never had a word of support or kindness from my mother. Strangely enough, we were never abused as children, verbally or otherwise. It seems she has become like this only in the past 10 years.

Mental illness runs in her family. If you have concluded that my mother is mentally ill, what should I do about it? I want to add, she treats other people just fine. Sign me - Walking on Eggshells, No Town, U.S.A.

Dear Eggshells: It should be less painful knowing that your mother’s abusive behavior could be the result of mental illness, but it still must hurt.

My advice is to keep your distance. Don’t subject yourself to her punishment any more than is absolutely necessary. And since your mother seems bent on poisoning your son’s mind against you, I suggest that you keep him away from her, too.I realize this will be difficult, but self-preservation comes ahead of faked family togetherness.

xxxx