Cheap Seats
Welcome to our All-Rodman
Cheap Seats
With Greg Norman jokes ebbing and Marge Schott’s personal holocaust on hiatus, the release of Chicago Bulls forward Dennis Rodman’s new book, “Bad as I Wanna Be” - and all the attendant commentary on his prose and poses - comes just in time. We hereby appoint him the patron saint of Cheap Seats and get right to the action …
A new meaning for the term ‘makeup call’
Brian McIntyre, NBA vice president for communications, was asked if the league would allow Rodman to wear makeup during games as he did at a well-chronicled book signing.
“I haven’t looked at the rule book under ‘Makeup,”’ he said. “We don’t even have an ‘M’ section. But we wouldn’t allow it. We have a rule against gaining an advantage with equipment and such, and he would be gaining a psychological advantage. Besides, we wouldn’t want it to clash with the Bulls’ uniforms.”
Like the tattoos match.
The ex factor
The book may have debuted atop the New York Times’ best seller list, but it got a pan from Rodman’s former wife, Annie. She’s apparently writing her own book, with the working title of “Worse Than He Says He Is.”
“He left out the part where he beat my butt,” she said. “People should look at the court documents. I can’t believe the people of Chicago are falling all over this guy. He pushed me down the stairs when I was pregnant in 1992 and I went on to have a miscarriage.”
Rodman broke down in tears on Oprah Winfrey’s show when a picture of his 7-year-old daughter, Alexis, was shown. But he wasn’t the only one crying.
The Chicago Tribune reported that Rodman missed Alexis’ First Communion to sign books in the now-famous silver halter top and pink feather boa.
“Dennis was on the TV news and Alexis said, ‘Is that my daddy?”’ said Annie. “She was so distraught.”
Everybody’s a critic
Well, almost everybody. TNT’s Danny Ainge said Rodman’s publisher bold-faced passages and used large type “because Dennis’ fans can’t read.”
WGN-TV solicited Ahmad Rashad’s opinion but Rashad asked that the clip not be used because “David (Stern, NBA commissioner) wasn’t too crazy about it.”
Yep. TV journalism at its best.
The third-to-last word …
“Rodman played every minute of the game except one and was left entirely unguarded, although alone might be where you would expect to find a tattooed crossdresser on a Saturday.”
- Chicago Tribune columnist Bernie Lincicome
The next-to-last word …
“I understand he wants to play naked? In his last game? It probably would be.”
- NBA commissioner Stern
The last word …
“You know who turned 35 on Monday? Dennis Rodman. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday he was in his first training bra.”
- Jay Leno
, DataTimes