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Smashing televisions

Ozzie Guillen of the Chicago White Sox was so upset when friend Harold Baines was traded to the Baltimore Orioles he smashed a clubhouse TV. When asked if he was expecting to pay for the damage, he snapped:

“Do you know how much money I make? I can afford to smash up all the TVs in here.”

Guillen makes $4 million a year.

And he’s a pro athlete. Which, as we all know, gives him license to do just about anything he wants.

Fat Boy Illustrated

Nate Newton of the Dallas Cowboys made Muscle and Fitness Magazine’s “Worst Physiques in the NFL” list, the third consecutive year the 6-foot-3, 320-pound lineman received the dubious distinction.

The “Best and Worst Bods” were selected by John “Mother” Dunn, strength and conditioning coach of the New York Giants, and Flex Magazine writer Jim Rosenthal in consultation with most of the National Football League’s strength coaches, the magazine said.

Joining Newton on the list, which appears in the magazine’s October issue, were 6-foot-6, 325-pound offensive tackle Lincoln Kennedy of the Oakland Raiders and 6-foot-5, 282-pound defensive end Chris Mims of the Washington Redskins.

Guilty, guilty, guilty

A former football star as defendant. A heinous crime. A “dream team” defense lawyer.

But this time, the verdict was guilty.

Despite pleas of insanity and self-defense, a jury of University of Notre Dame backers recently convicted former USC running back Anthony Davis of scoring 10 touchdowns in historic 1972 and 1974 victories over the Fighting Irish.

Los Angeles County District Attorney Gil Garcetti, whose prosecution of O.J. Simpson for murder ended in an acquittal, defended Davis at a mock trial held at Notre Dame High School.

The event was a fund-raiser for the Notre Dame Club of Los Angeles, and some of the money will be used for Notre Dame scholarships.

Garcetti is a University of Southern California graduate. The prosecutor, California Attorney General Dan Lungren, was a Notre Dame grad.

Lungren lashed out, accusing Davis of inflicting “cruel and unusual punishment” against Notre Dame.

Not only that, but he broke the law against “obscene live conduct” by attempting “a sick dance around the football” after scoring, Lungren fumed.

Garcetti said Davis acted from temporary insanity - and from self-defense.

“He knew they were out there to kill him,” Garcetti said of the Notre Dame team.

The six-member jury took only four seconds to deliberate. The verdict: guilty. Davis was sentenced to life in prison without parole and was ordered to watch replays of Notre Dame-USC football games from 1983 to 1995, when USC lost 13 times.

Definitely cruel and unusual punishment.

The last word …

“I have a Cowboys helmet with me and I’m going to start jogging in the morning with it on. I thought about doing it in San Francisco (during the Reds’ last road trip), but that wouldn’t be cool to wear a Cowboys helmet in San Francisco. I might get shot.”

-Cincinnati Reds’ outfielder Deion Sanders on preparing for football season.

, DataTimes ILLUSTRATION: Photo